Theory

STRUCTURE - ESSAY

In all Cambridge writing exams, a large part of the marks are given for using the correct DOCUMENT
STRUCTURE. Good structure means putting the right elements in the right place and then connecting them
correctly.

So, for this essay, we will focus on what the correct elements are, where they need to go, and then, how they are
connected to each other.

NOTE: It is important to remember that there are many ways of writing essays, and this is just one method.

TYPICAL EXAM QUESTION FOR THE CAMBRIDGE FIRST (FCE) EXAM:

HOW MANY PARAGRAPHS

In this question, we are required to write about global obesity, and we are given 2 ideas to discuss, Drinking and
Fast food. We are also required to generate an idea ourselves, Education for example.

That means we need to generate at least 3 paragraphs, 1 for each idea.

Additionally, all writing documents need an introduction and a conclusion.

That means that this essay requires 5 paragraphs.

The question specifies that we need to use 140 - 190 words, 175 as an average, so we need 5 paragraphs of about 35
words each.

➤ THE INTRODUCTION

The introduction needs three parts:

- A sentence to discuss the context of the subject.

- A thesis sentence which explains what subjects are going to be discussed.

- A conclusion generator.

The CONTEXT SENTENCE needs to be a short general sentence:

Obesity is a serious global problem in today's society, especially among young people.

The THESIS SENTENCE, which should be written in the first person, needs to tell the reader what subjects are
going to be discussed, which in this example are Drinking, Fast food, and Education:

I think high rates of alcohol consumption, addiction to fast food and a lack of adequate teaching in schools is to
blame for this situation.

The CONCLUSION GENERATOR is used to connect the introduction with the conclusion, and is usually in the
form of a question:

So, what can be done about it?

Putting these elements together, we have the introduction shown here:

Obesity is a serious global problem in today's society, especially among young people. I think high rates of alcohol
consumption, addiction to fast food and a lack of adequate teaching in schools is to blame for this situation. So what
can be done about it?

Notice this paragraph has 45 words, which is acceptable.

➤ THE SECOND PARAGRAPH

In the exam, good document structure also means good paragraph structure.

A well written paragraph needs:

- an introduction sentence

- the main idea

- a conclusion sentence

After the introduction, the first paragraph discusses DRINKING.

The introduction sentence needs to be short and explain the main idea the paragraph is going to discuss:

Alcohol consumption in the West has been increasing alarmingly.

This main idea is then explained:

This is an important reason why people have been getting fatter, and a simple solution for this problem is to cut
down on the amount of alcohol consumed.

Notice: There is an answer to the conclusion generator which was the final sentence in the introduction:

So what can be done about it?

A simple solution for this problem is to cut down on the amount of alcohol consumed.

This is the conclusion of the paragraph.

Putting these elements together gives the following paragraph:

Alcohol consumption in the West has been increasing alarmingly . This is an important reason why people have
been getting fatter, and a simple solution for this problem is to cut down on the amount of alcohol consumed.

Notice this paragraph has 38 words which is acceptable.

➤ THE THIRD PARAGRAPH

Repeating this process for the next idea - Fast Food.

Introduction sentence:

Addiction to fast food is also a serious problem.

Explanation:

It is so popular that it has become an addiction, and is a major cause of young people getting fatter. This kind of
food is very fattening and parents need to limit how much fast food their children eat.

Conclusion:

Parents need to limit how much fast food their children eat.

Putting these elements together gives the following paragraph:

Addiction to fast food is also a serious problem. It is so popular that it has become an addiction, and is a major
cause of young people getting fatter. This kind of food is very fattening and parents need to limit how much fast food
their children eat.

Notice this paragraph has 48 words which is acceptable.

➤ THE FOURTH PARAGRAPH

Repeating this process for the third idea - EDUCATION, and the fourth paragraph:

Introduction sentence:

The schools have not done their job well.

Explanation:

Children don't understand the connection between excessive drinking, fast food and being obese. Schools need to
introduce special lessons on good diet and healthy living.

Conclusion:

Schools need to introduce special lessons on good diet and healthy living.

The finished paragraph is then as shown:

The schools have not done their job well. Children don't understand the connection between excessive drinking, fast
food and being obese. Schools need to introduce special lessons on good diet and healthy living. Schools need to
introduce special lessons on good diet and healthy living.

Notice this paragraph has 45 words which is acceptable.

➤ THE CONCLUSION

The final paragraph is the conclusion, which needs to summarise the ideas that have been discussed. It also needs to
answer the question which was created in the introduction for this purpose.

It is important to notice that direct repetition of the ideas already mention should be avoided, and instead these ideas
need to be summarised in the conclusion:

So what can be done about it?

I think parents and schools need to do a better job of explaining the relationship between drinking alcohol, eating
too much fast food and becoming obese. If adequate education is made available, this problem can be solved in the
future.

This paragraph contains 40 words which is acceptable.

➤ LINKING

We have now created all the elements we need for this essay and now we will look at how these elements need to be
connected.

The first question that needs to be explained is why these elements need to be connected.

Any document is only a collection of ideas which the writer is presenting to the reader. The reader needs to know
how these ideas relate to each other to be able to follow the logic and avoid getting confused.

These relationships are identified by the use of linking words, and it is these linking words that form the connections
we are talking about.

There are three main types of linking words:

- those that indicate ideas which are sequential.

Firstly, secondly, additionally, finally

- those that show contrast.

however, on the one hand, on the other hand

- those that show the summation of ideas.

in conclusion

➤ BASIC ESSAY WITHOUT LINKING

This is our essay without any linking, and each paragraph, which is a main idea, has no connection with any other
paragraph. ( example 1)

➤ ADDING LINKING BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS

Adding the sequential linking words shown allows the reader to understand how these ideas are related. (example 2)

➤ LINKING GENERATED BY THE CONCLUSION GENERATOR

This diagram shows how the ideas at the end of each paragraph connect with the conclusion generator and then
connect with the conclusion. (example 3)

➤ LINKING GENERATED BY THE THESIS STATEMENT

It is also important to notice the function of the thesis statement , shown highlighted here.

It tells the reader, right from the beginning, what ideas are going to be discussed. It therefore contributes to the
connections, and is a vital part of the structure of the document. (example 4)

➤ WORDING OF THE CONCLUSION

The final point to notice is the way the conclusion is worded.

In the second paragraph we identified part of the answer to the conclusion generator we created in the introduction:

So what can be done about it?

...and a simple solution for this problem is to cut down on the amount of alcohol consumed.

We did the same in the third paragraph:

So what can be done about it?

...and parents need to limit how much fast food their children eat.

and in the fourth paragraph:

So what can be done about it?

Schools need to introduce special lessons on good diet and healthy living.

These three parts of the conclusion are then combined, and not repeated, to give the following summarised idea:

Parents and schools need to do a better job of explaining the relationship between drinking alcohol, eating too
much fast food and becoming obese. If adequate education is made available, this problem can be solved in the
future.

➤ THE EXAMINERS' VIEW

The examiners would look at this document and ask the following questions:

CONTENT

Has all required information been covered?

Is there irrelevant information?

Has the information been developed?

COMMUNICATIVE ACHIEVEMENT

Does the document have the required format?

Has formal or informal language been used correctly?

Have simple and complex ideas been expressed?

ORGANISATION

Are there clear paragraphs?

Are the paragraphs well structured?

Is there a variety of sentence lengths and sentence structures?

Is there linking between paragraphs, between sentences and within sentences?

LANGUAGE

Is there a variety of good vocabulary?

Have adverbs and adjectives been used effectively?

Is there a range of grammar elements?

(Conditional, concession, modal verbs, relative clauses, passive, cleft sentence)

Is there a variety of good linking elements?

So what would the answers be for this document?

CONTENT

Has all required information been covered? - YES

Is there irrelevant information? - NO

Has the information been developed? - YES

COMMUNICATIVE ACHIEVEMENT

Does the document have the required format? - YES

Has formal or informal language been used correctly? - YES

Have simple and complex ideas been expressed? – YES

ORGANISATION

Are there clear paragraphs? - YES

Are the paragraphs well structured? - YES

Is there a variety of sentence lengths and sentence structures? - YES

Is there linking between paragraphs, between sentences and within sentences? - NO - THERE IS NO
LINKING BETWEEN SENTENCES AND WITHIN SENTENCES.

LANGUAGE

Is there a variety of good vocabulary? - NOT REALLY

Have adverbs and adjectives been used effectively? - NO

Is there a range of grammar elements? - NO

(Conditional, concession, modal verbs, relative clauses, passive, cleft sentence)

Is there a variety of good linking elements? - NO THEY ARE VERY BASIC

So we would get good marks for CONTENT, COMMUNICATIVE ACHIEVEMENT, AND

ORGANISATION, but not for LANGUAGE. That is understandable because we didn't focus on
LANGUAGE.

The following changes would remedy that: (example 5)

The improvements in language introduced are the following:

1. Linking within sentences and between sentences.

2. Better quality linking between paragraphs.
3. Good use of adverbs.
4. Good range of grammar elements:
-Conditional
-Concession
-Modal verbs
-Relative clause
-Cleft sentence
-Passive
-A good range of common and less common vocabulary

This document should now get a decent mark! (example 6)

Theory (further information)

STRUCTURE – ESSAY
An ESSAY is a formal document which the writer uses to present an opinion, supported by a set of
arguments. It has a specific structure.

➤ THE INTRODUCTION
The first paragraph, THE INTRODUCTION, is used to put the subject into context. An effective
way of doing this is to explain what the general opinion about the subject is, and a typical sentence
used for this purpose could be:
In today's society, many people believe that .....

A more effective tool often used in introductions is THE HOOK.

➤ THE HOOK
So, what is a hook? It's a piece of writing at the beginning of your essay that engages the reader. A
hook sparks a person's curiosity and makes an introduction standout.

There are several kinds of hooks:

 • Interesting Question Hook
 • Strong Statement/Declaration Hook
 • Fact/Statistic Hook

Why do some students pass their exams and some fail?

This question is an example of a question hook for an essay on education. The reader looks at the
intriguing question and wants to know the answer, so continues reading the essay.
Online classes are more effective than in-person classes.
This statement is an example of a strong statement hook for an essay on education. The reader looks
at the thought-provoking statement and is intrigued, so continues reading the essay.
Almost two-thirds of adults in the US have lived in a home where a gun was present.
This factual sentence is an example of a statistical hook for an essay on crime. The reader looks at the
thought-provoking statistic and is intrigued, so continues reading the essay.
The hook is usually followed by a THESIS STATEMENT.

➤ THE THESIS STATEMENT

A very powerful technique in the construction of an introduction is the use of a THESIS
STATEMENT. This is a sentence, located in the introduction, which informs the reader what is going
to be discussed in the rest of the document. Examiners look for these elements when marking.
This is a typical thesis statement for a Cambridge First (FCE) essay:
I will consider idea one, followed by the second and third ideas and I will give my opinion as the
conclusion.
This is a typical thesis statement for a Cambridge Advanced (CAE) essay:
This essay will consider the quality of being alike and the cost of uniforms for parents, concluding with
the most important aspect to be taken into account.

➤ MAIN BODY OF THE ESSAY

The paragraphs in the middle of the document, the main body, are used to discuss the individual
arguments the writer wishes to consider in the process of forming an opinion.
The main body of an essay can be used to present a set of arguments which will then be used to
justify the opinion given in the conclusion.
Alternatively, the main body can be used to present two opposite sides of an argument, leading to the
conclusion.

➤ FINAL PARAGRAPH
The writer's opinion is then given in the final paragraph, the conclusion.
The conclusion of an essay should not repeat what has already been said. Instead, it should use those
ideas to develop a summary and then an opinion.
A common sentence to introduce the conclusion is:
Taking all these ideas into account, I am absolutely convinced that....

➤ THE LANGUAGE
The language needs to be formal, which means you need to take care with the vocabulary and not use
colloquial terms. You should also avoid using contractions, and where possible use the passive in the
main body of the document. Sentences using 'I' should only appear in the THESIS STATEMENT in
the introduction, and when giving your opinion in the conclusion.

➤ LINKING
An essay is an excellent opportunity to use good quality linking terms, both within sentences, between
sentences, and very importantly between paragraphs, to show why two paragraphs may express
opposing ideas.

➤ USEFUL PHRASES
Here are some useful phrases that can be used for essays:
 • Stating an aim:
I will discuss both points of view and express my opinion...

 • Expressing personal beliefs:

In my opinion...
I believe that...
It seems to me that ...

 • Reporting general opinions:

Many people feel that ...
It is generally believed that ...
The commonly held view is that ....

 • Looking at different sides of an argument:

On the one hand ....
On the other hand ....
In contrast ....

 • Expressing contrast:
However, ....
Having said that ....
Despite that ....

 • Expressions which add information:

Additionally....
What is more, ....
Furthermore, ....
Moreover, ....

 • Summarizing or concluding:
In conclusion,....
On balance, ....
Taking these ideas into account, ....
Summarizing, ....

Before writing, you need to consider the following:

 • What style should I use?
Essays are formal documents, in which opinions are expressed. Use appropriate discourse markers to
show how the ideas expressed are related.
 • Who am I writing this essay for?
Essays are an open discussion of ideas, and so can be read by anyone.
 • What information should I include?
A good essay includes clearly-stated opinions supported by well-chosen examples and convincing
reasons for each point discussed.
 • What is the function of this essay?
The function of an essay is to put forward a set of arguments leading to the expression of an opinion
about a subject.

➤ TYPICAL EXAM QUESTION FOR THE CAMBRIDGE FIRST (FCE) EXAM

➤ TYPICAL ESSAY FOR THE CAMBRIDGE FIRST (FCE) EXAM

➤ WRITING AN ESSAY FOR EXAM SUCCESS FOR THE CAMBRIDGE FIRST (FCE) EXAM
Smoking is a common activity in today's society, and there is a call(11) for it to be banned.(1) I shall
consider the health issues involved,(11) the cost to society and the problems passive smokers face, before
giving my opinion as the conclusion.(2)
To start with,(3) smoking is responsible for causing disease.(5)(12) If smoking had been made illegal in
the past, our hospitals would not be (9) full of people who have been made ill by this addiction,(4)(8)
and many unnecessary deaths(10) could have been (9) avoided.(13)
Furthermore,(3) smoking is an enormous waste (10) of money.(5)(12) Although it is true that(6)
smokers are free to spend their money as they wish, to satisfy their addiction, smokers spend money that
could be (9) put to better use in many ways, both for their families and for society.(13)
Finally,(3) passive smoking affects innocent people who choose not to smoke.(5)(8)(12) Family
members of smokers, who don't smoke,(8) often get ill from smoking related illnesses (11) because they
were affected by the smoke of others.(13) This is unfair. (12)
Taking all these ideas into account,(3) I am absolutely convinced (10) that were smoking to be made
illegal,(7) smokers and non-smokers alike would be (9) protected from the diseases associated with
smoking(11), and a lot of money could be saved.(14)

➤ ELEMENTS OF IMPORTANCE FOR THE EXAMINERS

The examiners would find the following elements of interest:
 • 1) Good use of the passive to express the starting question. (1)
 • 2) Correctly structured thesis statement. (2)
 • 3) Good linking. (3)
 • 4) Good use of the conditional.(4)
 • 5) Good use of topic sentences. (5)
 • 6) Good use of concession. (6)
 • 7) Good use of the conditional with inversion. (7)
 • 8) Good use of relative clauses. (8)
 • 9) Good use of modal verbs. (9)
 • 10) Good use of adjectives, adverbs and adverb adjective pairs. (10)
 • 11) Good use of interesting expressions. (11)
 • 12) Good use of a variety of sentence lengths. (12)
 • 13) Good justification of ideas. (13)
 • 14) Strong expression of personal opinion in the conclusion. (14)

➤ DOCUMENT EVALUATION
The document is evaluated by looking at four areas:
 • Content
 • Communicative Achievement
 • Organisation
 • Language

➤ CONTENT (MARKED OUT OF 5)

The section on CONTENT asks the following questions:
 • Is all the content relevant?
 • Does the document discuss everything that was required?
 • Has there been an attempt to develop the information given to the reader?

The document has discussed all three of the required points (smoking is responsible for causing
disease, smoking is an enormous waste of money, and passive smoking affects innocent people who
choose not to smoke), and all information provided is relevant to the task. There is no evidence of
irrelevant information. Where possible, extra relevant information has also been provided, so the
ideas expressed have been developed.

➤ COMMUNICATIVE ACHIEVEMENT (MARKED OUT OF 5)

The section on COMMUNICATIVE ACHIEVEMENT asks the following questions:
 • Does the document have the structure required for an essay?
 • Is there evidence of good paragraph structure?
 • Is the language used sufficiently formal?
 • Have simple and complex ideas been discussed?

The conventions of the essay format have been used effectively to hold the reader's attention. There is
an introductory paragraph with a clear thesis statement and an effective opening sentence to put the
subject into context. Straightforward and complex ideas are communicated (If smoking had been
made illegal in the past, our hospitals would not be full of people who have been made ill by this
addiction, although it is true that smokers are free to spend their money as they wish, to satisfy their
addiction, smokers spend money that could be put to better use in many ways, both for their families
and for society. The language used is consistently appropriate and the subject matter is dealt with in
an objective manner.

➤ ORGANISATION (MARKED OUT OF 5)

The section on ORGANISATION asks:
 • Is the essay well organised and coherent?
 • Have a variety of cohesive devices been used?
 • Are the different ideas clearly signposted throughout?

The essay is well organised and coherent using a variety of cohesive devices. The paragraphs are
clearly introduced with topic sentences, and good quality linking allows the ideas to flow.

➤ LANGUAGE (MARKED OUT OF 5)

The section on LANGUAGE asks:
 • Is there an effective range of vocabulary, including less common lexis?
 • Is there a wide range of simple and complex grammatical forms, and are they used with control
and flexibility, particularly in terms of sentence construction?

There is a wide range of vocabulary, including less common lexis. The language used conveys the
required information effectively and efficiently. The grammar structures and the sentence
construction used show an understanding of complex ideas.

➤ FINAL EVALUATION (MARKED OUT OF 20)

This is a well written document which deserves to get a good mark in an exam.