Self-Management Skills

Self-management, which is also referred to as ‘self-control’, is the ability to control one’s emotions, thoughts and
behaviour effectively in different situations.
This includes motivating oneself, and working towards Achieving personal and academic goals.

Students with strong self-management skills are better at doing certain things well, such as coming to class on time,
paying attention, obeying teachers, parents and elders, working with discipline, etc.

It helps a person to do better in studies or work. In order to do well at work and life, in general, one must be able to
manage and improve oneself in various skills, including timeliness, discipline, problem solving and work habits.

To manage oneself well, a person needs to develop the following.

• Positive thinking: to think that one can get things done and be happy.
• Result orientation: to dream big and achieve the desired or set results.
• Self-awareness: to be aware of one’s personality traits and make the best out of one’s strengths.

Self-Motivation
Self-motivated individuals are asset to the world, their country, and their families and to themselves. Self-motivated individuals
practice righteousness. They do what is required to accomplish their goals. Self-motivated people have elevated spirit and are full
of positivity. For them nothing is impossible. They are focused on their goals and objectives and diligently achieve their aims.
Self-motivation is important because
• • It increases individual’s energy and activity.
• • It directs an individual towards specific goals.
• • It results in initiation and persistence of specific activities
• • It affects cognitive processes and learning strategies used for completing similar tasks

Motivation
Motivation is derived from the word ‘motive’. Thus, directing behaviour towards certain motive or goal is the essence of
motivation. An individual’s motivation may come from within (intrinsic motivation) or be inspired by others or events
(extrinsic motivation).

Intrinsic motivation
It includes activities for which there is no apparent reward but one derives enjoyment and satisfaction in doing them. It
occurs when people are internally motivated to do something because it brings them pleasure. They think it is important
or feel what they are learning is significant. Incentives related to the motive or goal can satisfy one’s needs.

Extrinsic motivation
It arises because of incentives or external rewards. Lack of motivation or incentives may lead to frustration, for example,
employees who are kept on contractual basis fora long time may get frustrated and leave an organisation
Positive attitude
A positive attitude makes a person happier, and helps build and maintain relationships. It even increases one’s chances
of success. In addition, it can help the person make better decisions. People, who maintain a positive or optimistic
attitude in life situations and challenges, are able to move forward than those with a negative attitude. Positive attitude
helps improve mental and physical health.

Ways to maintain positive attitude

Start the day with a morning routine. Say positive affirmations, smile often and think about the tasks to be
accomplished during for the day.

• Feed the mind with positivity, read motivating books, listen to music with uplifting lyrics, watch inspiring movies, etc.

• Be proactive. A proactive person decides how one must feel regardless of what may be going around or what the day
may bring.
• Focus on constructive and positive things. Do not approach life with ‘problems’. Approach it with ‘solutions’.
• Learn from failures. Think what could have been better and work towards the goals.
• Learn to focus on the present. Negativity mostly stems out from anxiety of the past and future events.
• Move towards your goals and dreams. Be cheerful and work hard to achieve the dreams.

Here are some more techniques that can help you to maintain a positive outlook in the long run.

• Physical exercise and fresh air: Following a healthy lifestyle is essential for students. Practising yoga, meditation and
deep breathing exercises help improve blood circulation and relax the body. Taking a walk or playing in the park helps
one to get a lot of fresh air, which helps in becoming more active.

• Healthy diet: A healthy and balanced diet is important for a healthy body and mind. Eating a balanced diet, such as
daal, roti, green vegetables and fruits provides the strength required to do daily work efficiently.

• Organise academic life: By keeping class notes organised, completing assignments on time and keeping track of all
deadlines, stress can be reduced to a great extent. When you are not stressed, you can channelize your mind to achieve
the goals.

Adequate sleep: A good night sleep for at least seven hours is important so that the mind and body can get recharged to
function better the next day.

• Holidays with family and friends: Visiting a relative’s place, such as grandparents’ house or anew place during
summer vacation can help one break the monotonous normal routine and come back refreshed.
Finding sources of motivation and inspiration
Following are the sources of motivation and inspiration.
• Music
Music is the language of the soul. A good inspiring piece touches every heart and can help create miracles

. • Books
Books are said to be best friends. They expand our horizon of thinking. They help us visualize the unknown and unchartered
territories beyond our capacities. Books about heroic acts, inspiring lives and stimulating creativity help readers move beyond
their routine lives.

• Activities:
Engaging in positive and skill enhancing activities keep our spirits high. Competitions, games, simulations, interviews for various
committee positions are found to encourage, motivate and inspire students.

• Expansive thoughts:
Thinking and discussing big and positive ideas motivate us to reach our highest potential.

• Living in the present:

Being present where we are rather than where we are not, brings in peace and calmness in our life. A calm and peaceful mind can
help us achieve wonders. This quality of being aware and conscious of one’s self in present moment is also called mindfulness.
Mindfulness helps students to pay attention, reduce stress and helps promote thoughtful approach towards life.

• Dreaming big:
Dreaming big is a journey not a destination. Dreaming big helps us to be mentally prepared to take that big leap forward. Only
when we aim high, we get motivated to work hard and achieve big things in life.

(*Important ) Personality Types, Traits and Disorders

Meaning of personality
Personality is relatively enduring set of traits. These traits are made up of emotional, behavioural and mental set of
characteristics. Heredity has been found to be determining personality apart from environmental forces. Personality is shaped
through family, culture, society, education and other environmental factors.

Influence of personality
Personality affects all aspects of an individual’s performance, even how he/she reacts to situations in life. Individuals shall set
clear goals for themselves and diligently pursue them. Behavioural tendencies like anxiety, stress, perseverance and
conscientiousness reflected in personality traits can influence academic performance
• Openness: Individuals with openness to experience are, generally, creative, curious, active, flexible and adventurous.
If a person is interested in learning new things, meeting new people and making friends, and likes visiting new places,
the person can be called open-minded.
• Consciousness: Individuals, who listen to their conscience, are self-disciplined, do their work on time, take care of
others before themselves and care about others’ feelings.
• Extraversion: Extroverts are individuals, who love interacting with people around and are, generally, talkative. A
person, who can easily make friends and make any gathering lively, is confident and an extrovert.
Agreeableness: Individuals having such a trait are, generally, kind, sympathetic, cooperative, warm and considerate.
They accommodate themselves in any situation. For example, people who help and take care of others are, generally,
agreeable.
• Neuroticism: Neuroticism is a trait, wherein, individuals show tendency towards anxiety, self-doubt, depression,
shyness and other similar negative feelings. People, who have difficulty in meeting others and worry too much about
things, show signs of neuroticism

2.4 Common personality disorders

Following are the common personality disorders. If anyone is identified with these disorders, counselling shall be provided by
family members, teachers and counsellors.
• Paranoid
Feeling extremely nervous and worried because you believe that other people do not like you or are trying to harm you.
• Antisocial
Is characterized by a pattern of persistent disregard for and violation of the rights of others.
• Schizoid
Is characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships and people tend to be distant, detached and indifferent.
• Borderline
Is marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image and behaviour. These symptoms result in impulsive actions and
problems in relationships.
• Narcissistic
Is a condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and
admiration and lack of empathy?
• Avoidant
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by feelings of extreme social inhibition, inadequacy, and sensitivity to negative
criticism and rejection.
• Dependent
Dependent personality disorder is a condition marked by an overreliance on other people to meet one's emotional and physical
needs.
• Obsessive
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is a personality disorder that's characterized by extreme perfectionism, order,
and neatness.

(Briefly Given )Common personality disorders

Personality disorders involve long-term patterns of thoughts and behaviour that are unhealthy and rigid. A personality
disorder is a way of thinking, feeling and behaving that deviates from worldly expectations and causes distress, which
lasts over time.
Cluster A: Suspicious
People falling under this cluster always mistrust others and are suspicious, even when there is no need to do so. For
example, Varsha is a homemaker. A maid has been working at her house for two years. Despite having CCTV cameras
installed at home, Varsha is always suspicious about the maid. She follows her all the time and keeps a tab on her
movements. This causes stress between Varsha and her maid.------ Continue
What is stress and how to manage it?

Stress is a state of feeling upset, annoyed and hopeless. There are times when we feel nothing is working right, we are
not able to achieve our goals and feel hopeless .

During such times, if we manage and control our emotions, it helps us to sail through. Some of the ways to manage
stress are given below.

• Stay positive and analyse what is going wrong in a certain situation. Resolving the situation is easy once understood.
• Maintain an accomplishment sheet and enter even small achievements.
• Keep your thoughts in present. Pondering over past issues makes us feel upset and helpless.
• Talk to friends and family for comfort.
• Practise meditation and yoga.
• Whenever you feel negative thoughts are taking over, take a look at your accomplishment sheet.

Result Orientation
Result orientation is a term used to describe a person’s ability to recognise what results are important and the steps
needed to be taken to achieve them. It means to focus on the result of an assigned task. If you know the result you want
to achieve, you can focus on the efforts required to achieve it. Hence, result orientation describes an individual or
organisation that focusses on outcome rather than the process that has been used to produce a product or deliver a
service.
An ideal employee needs to be proactive and result driven. The person must always take necessary steps to achieve the
set goals or targets.

How to become result oriented?

(i) Set clear goals: Setting clear and accurate goals is the first step one needs to take to meet the targets.
(ii) Prepare an action plan: An action plan describes the way a person or an organisation will meet the set objectives. It
gives a detail of the steps to be taken to achieve the target. Therefore, it consists of several actions or steps that need to
be taken, and changes that need to be made. Each action, step or change should include the following information.

iii) Use the right resources and tools: One must evaluate the resources and tools needed to
achieve those results and whether they are available. For example, you may want to clear the college entrance exam with
70 per cent marks. Do you have the books to study for the exam? If not, from where and how can you get them?
(iv) Communicate with mentors and peers: One must talk to teachers, seniors and mentors for help in setting
realistic goals.
(v) Make a calendar: One must make a calendar to monitor the progress at regular intervals.
(vi) Work hard: One must work hard and believe in one’s dreams.

Goal setting
Goal setting helps us to understand what we want, how to achieve it and how do we measure our success.
Writing a goal requires that we should understand its purpose and objective. Let us try to understand how to define a
goal.
• Identify what the goal is about, for example, customer satisfaction, speeding up the delivery process, etc.
• How the goal would make a difference? For example, will it enhance customer satisfaction, will it result in an increase
in demand of a product or service, speed up the delivery process and result in better loyalty and quality of the product.
Use the acronym SMART to set goals. Let us see what each letter in SMART implies

. S: Specific
Goals should be stated in specific terms. Vague goals are difficult to attain. Specific goals give us a concrete target.
Hence, a goal should have a specific purpose.
• M: Measurable Goals should always be measurable. If we do not set our goals in measurable terms, it is difficult to
assess whether we have achieved them or not.
• A: Action-oriented
Goals do not just come true on their own. Effective goal setting should include action-based steps that one will follow to
achieve the goal.
— Actions that I am already taking towards achieving this goal
— Actions that I am not currently taking but will take towards achieving this goal
— Actions that I am not currently taking and need help to achieve the goal

— People and places from whom I can get help to achieve the goal
• R: Realistic
There are few things more damaging to our sense of self-efficacy than setting ourselves up for failure. Goals must
always be realistically attainable.
• T: Timely
Goals must have deadlines. However, deadlines may change. But one must always set a deadline to get the job done
within a specified time limit.
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is about understanding one’s own needs, desires, habits, traits, behaviours and feelings.

Steps towards self-awareness

• The first step for practising self-awareness is gaining a greater awareness of one’s emotions
• The second step to practising self-awareness is making a habit of tracking one’s feelings
• The third step for practising self-awareness is expanding one’s practice to areas of life beyond the person’s feelings.