RECOVER FROM

NARCISSISTIC
ABUSE
THE
HEALING
CHECKLIST

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Healing From Narcissistic Abuse 
THE CHECKLIST
Before we get into the checklist, let me explain...
Unfortunately, life does not come with a roadmap on how to heal from narcissistic abuse. And
because it’s such a complex, and often times, overwhelming journey, I made this checklist for
you. It's a roadmap of sorts, to help you on your healing journey. This checklist includes the 4
Revelation Therapy “R”s of healing from narcissistic abuse. These are, RECOGNISE what’s
happened. REMOVE yourself from toxic people and energy. RECOVER emotionally,
and REDESIGN your life as you desire.

It might seem rudimental to write a list of this kind, but I wanted to do this because at one time I
thought all I needed to do to heal was to recognise and remove the offending narcissist in my life,
and then all would be well. But then much later, I uncomfortably realised that, if I wanted to truly
heal and totally transform my life, then theres much more to it then that. One of the reasons
healing from narcissistic abuse is so hard is because it's quite intangible. How do you know what
steps to take, to ensure you heal? And then, how do you know you are actually healing? Other
journey's are more black and white and the results speak for themselves. In contrast, healing from
narcissistic abuse isn't so easily mapped out, or measured. I know that, for me, having the
journey laid out, especially by someone whose taken those steps before, would have given me
some reassurance, and a lot more clarity about what was really involved & what I needed to do -
so I really hope this checklist helps you.

Some parts of the checklist may feel more relevant to you than others, and this will no doubt vary
over time. And there is really no set order for moving through this checklist, we all heal, take action,
and experience things in different orders and at different times.

We are all individuals and this checklist is meant as guidance only. I will add though, that there
were times in my journey I was adamant that certain things did not apply to me, but as I travelled
further, I realised they absolutely did! Use your own judgement and intuition for where you are
at. Let yourself feel however you feel. This is not an 'overnight journey. You do not need to ‘do it
all now.' After many years, I am STILL working on some of these things myself! And at a certain
point, I think there is a cross over between healing from narcissistic abuse, and self development.
So lets get into it! Here's to you, and your healing, Love from Marie xx

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -
Are you ready to find out the steps to heal from narcissistic abuse and completely transform
your life? Yes, yes yes? Excellent! Right, lets get into the checklist! Over the coming pages I
will go into every step I personally took, and that I help others take, to Recognise, Remove,
Recover and Redesign your life after narcissistic abuse, one self empowered step at a time.
At the end of the checklist, there is a calming healing affirmation prayer and a declaration for
you to commit to and get started (or continue!) on your healing journey, so be sure to check
those out. So let's get into the checklist, this first part is about recognising whats been going
on.

RECOGNISE - whats going on? 

Research narcissism. This may include narcissistic and borderline personality
disorders, and other personality disorders and mental illnesses
Research and learn to recognise the behaviour and tactics of toxic people e.g.
gaslighting, manipulation, triangulation, flying monkeys, love bombing, projection,
discarding e.t.c.

Recognise the narcissist/s and toxic people in your life and their specific toxic
behaviours
Research, learn and implement strategies for interacting and dealing with toxic people
e.g. grey rock method

Recognise the ongoing nature of narcissism and how narcissists are not able to
change, or be changed

Narcissists do not change...

But I can!
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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -

RECOGNISE - yourself 

Understand the effects being in a toxic relationship has on you

Research codependency and people pleasing

Why me? Recognise any codependent or people pleaser parts within you

Explore and recognise ways you may have been predisposed to experience
narcissistic abuse, for example, past experiences and programming, particularly
from your childhood

Narcissism:
It's all about them!
Healing:
It's all about ME!

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -

REMOVE - negative influences

Distance Yourself from toxic people and influences. This may include preparing for,
going and staying no (or low) contact with the toxic people in your life
Release your energetic attachment to the narcissist and take back your energy and
power (psychic chord cutting)

Release your addiction to the narcissist and toxic people

My happily ever after will

come...
...after the narcissist.

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -

RECOVER - yourself

- RECOVER: YOUR MINDSET -

Develop a healing mindset. YOU deserve to heal! Healing IS absolutely possible for
you!
Commit to yourself and your healing journey (there is a commitment declaration on
page 13)

Take responsibility for your life and your healing. This absolutely does not mean
that what happened was your fault (it wasn’t) or that you deserved it, (of course
you didn’t! Nobody does!). Taking responsibility means taking control of yourself
and your healing from this moment on, so you can move forward

The moment I commit to my

healing journey, I AM
Healing.

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -

- RECOVER: YOURSELF -

Practice self-care and develop a self-care routine

Overcome patterns of self avoidance (e.g. addictions, comfort eating, constantly

keeping busy e.t.c...)
Focus on yourself, on your thoughts and feelings, and not ‘out there.’

Practice self awareness (uncover your core beliefs and develop new beliefs)

Find yourself. Explore who you are and develop a solid sense of self

Develop a supportive and nurturing relationship with yourself where you 'have your
own back'

Learn how to love yourself

It's okay to be me. It's safe

for me to be myself.

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -

- RECOVER: YOUR FEELINGS -

Accept and feel all of your feelings (no matter how uncomfortable) including:

Healing the shock of what's happened to you, overcome the illusion of who
you thought the narcissist was and accept the reality

Grieve any feelings of sadness and loss

Get angry - find healthy ways to feel and release anger and rage

Release the need for justice and ‘to see karma play out’

It's okay for me to feel my

feelings.

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -

- RECOVER: YOUR FEELINGS -

Heal complex post-traumatic stress disorder/ response (C-PTSD)

Heal feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness

Release anxiety and worries and cultivate a feeling of being safe to be

you

Forgive /acknowledge yourself and anyone else that you feel you need to, or
want to

Heal your inner child

Release fears of abandonment and rejection

I release my feelings in
healthy ways.

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -

REDESIGN - your life

- REDESIGN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS -

Find freedom from manipulation

Recognise the qualities of healthy relationships

Boundaries - Learn how to set, implement, and stick with them

Communicate your true self including your feelings and your boundaries to
others

It's safe for me to

communicate who I am.

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -

- REDESIGN YOUR LIFE -

Create your dream life (explore your passions, purpose, what brings you
joy, and create a vision for your life and your future)

Use ALL your life experiences as opportunities to heal and further connect with
yourself

Socialise - create wonderful, healthy, supportive friendships

Dating - make a personal choice whether you want to date or not, don’t let your
past dictate your future forever

If you decide to date, create your vision for your perfect partner, manifest your
perfect partner, and remove any blocks that may stop you having this
relationship. Use all your experiences, including dating, to develop your
relationship with yourself and to heal even more

My past does not dictate my

future, I dictate my future!
So that completes the end of the healing checklist. I appreciate that this is a lot, and as I
said at the start, it can feel overwhelming. Just take it one (Self-Empowered) step at a
time. Let's move into the healing prayer which will help you orientate yourself in the
direction of your healing. Repeat this prayer as often as you like, and be sure to commit to
your healing journey on the following page by filling out the healing declaration.
xx You've got this xx

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Healing From Narcissistic Abuse 
- HEALING PRAYER -

Healing Affirmation Prayer

Even though I don't know how, I'm open to learning how to heal from narcissistic abuse.

Even though I don't know the exact steps to take, and in what order, I accept that I don't
need to have it all figured out right now. I just need to be open to this journey and to
finding out what my next step is.

Even if this journey is sometimes overwhelming and confusing, I choose to take a deep
breath, and to let that go.

Even if a part of me feels like I don't deserve to heal, I choose to believe that everyone
deserves to heal, and so that includes me. I deserve to heal, and it's ok if my body takes a
little while to catch up and to accept that I deserve to heal.

Even though what happened to me isn't my fault, and I didn't deserve to be treated that
way, I take responsibility for my own healing. No one is going to do this for me, so it’s ok
for me to take responsibility for my healing. I can learn a new way, I will do this for
myself.

Even though I don't know how, I am open to learning how to love myself.

Even if there's a part of me that that doesn’t want to face this and wants to hide under
the covers until this all goes away, I'm open to learning how to love and accept that part
too. Because that part is on this healing journey with me too.

I am open to making better choices for myself.

It’s ok to be me, It’s safe to be me. I am healing.

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- HEALING COMMITMENT -

Commit to Your Healing Journey

Declaration of My Commitment to My Healing Journey
(Insert your name, then sign and date in the spaces below to commit to your healing).

I _________________________________ herby commit to healing from narcissistic abuse.

In stating this, I am now committed to my healing journey. I AM committed to my
healing journey. And because I am committed to myself and my healing, I will do
everything in my power to heal from narcissistic abuse and overcome it. We are not
giving challenges that we cannot overcome, and I will overcome this.

I commit to remind myself everyday that I am committed to my healing journey.

And if I break my commitment or it it waivers, for any reason, (which is normal for most
people embarking on a new commitment), I commit NOW that I will recommit to
myself and my healing, because I know that is just a part of my journey.
And I will know that that is not a failure, so I will not berate myself for slipping up. I am
human, I am not perfect, and I am doing my best.

I am committed to my healing journey now, for today, tomorrow, this week, next week,
this month, this year, next year and forever more. My history of narcissistic abuse ends
right here and right now, because I am committed to finding a way to heal, once and for
all, from this day forward. May everything I need to heal on this journey come into my
life as and when I need it.

I thank myself for committing to myself and my healing. I thank life in advance for
supporting me as I commit to my greatest healing. I hereby sign and state in the name
of healing, that I am committed to myself. I am committed to my healing journey.
Signed _________________________________ Date _______________________

Print Name _________________________________

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -
Congratulations for committing to yourself and your healing journey! Do not
underestimate the power of making this commitment.

I hope that you have enjoyed this healing checklist, affirmation prayer and declaration of
commitment and that it’s helped you in some way. I also hope this is something that you
are able to refer back to again and again in your healing. I recommend repeating the
healing commitment and the healing prayer (or your own version of it) to yourself
everyday. I had to recommit to healing over and over again to begin with and this really
helped me to focus on my healing. So I encourage you to print them out or save them to
read daily. 

I'm excited for your future because I know that the more you commit to yourself and
healing, the better your life becomes. I am rooting for you and I'm excited for your
healing (can you feel that?), I am honoured to be a part of your healing journey and I
wish you all the best on this journey. So please let me know if you have any questions
about this workbook, healing, or otherwise.

We can all benefit from healing reminders and inspiration so you might want to join the
free facebook group “Revelation Healers of Narcissistic Abuse” where you can ask
questions, meet like minded people and be supported in your healing. I share helpful
healing tips, strategies and live events in the facebook group and it's been created as a
safe place for you to focus on your healing. You can join the Facebook group at the link
below. I hope to see you there.

CLICK HERE TO JOIN

The Revelation Therapy Healing from
Narcissistic Abuse Group on

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Heal From Narcissistic Abuse 
- CHECKLIST -

- NOTES -

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