Step One

Read Step One from the Green Book before answering the questions.

“We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior—that our lives had become
unmanageable.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 22)

“No matter how many promises or resolutions we made, no matter how strong our efforts
and our determination, the behaviors eventually returned, along with their painful
consequences.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 22)

1. Have I made promises and resolutions to stop? If so, how effective have they been?
2. Did the behaviors I wanted to stop return? Did the pain and consequences resume, or did
their probability increased?

“For many of us, the first crack in our denial comes with hitting bottom, and the despair of
facing an unbearable situation.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 22)

3. When was I able to identify this as a problem? What actions did I take to fix the problem? If I
took
action, did it solve the problem? If it did not, then why?
4. Have I hit bottom? If so, what was it like? Did I feel hopeless?
5. What situation got me working Step One?

“With the First Step, we stop lying to ourselves. As long as we can be honest, even a little bit,
we can move forward in our recovery. Honesty is the foundation on which all further progress
is based.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 23)

6. Have I rationalized my behaviors? If so, in what ways?

7. Do I fear that I am going to be labeled after I recognize I have a problem?
8. Do I have shame around accepting the problem exists? Do I recognize the problem is in me?

“We start by admitting that we are completely powerless to stop our addictive behaviors on
our own. We admit that our lives are out of our control.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 23)

9. Do I admit that I’m powerless? If so, to what degree?

10. Have I manipulated others to satisfy my needs? If so, how?
11. What addictive behaviors can I start to admit that I am powerless over?
12. Have I tried to stop on my own? Did it work?
13. In what ways is my life, when in my addiction, out of control?
14. Have I hurt others, directly or indirectly, with my behavior and regretted it? If so, why
couldn’t I stop it?
“Admitting that our willpower is insufficient allows us to be open to new ways of thinking and
living. As long as we retain a belief in self-control as a remedy for our addiction, we will
continue to fail.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 23)

15. Have I tried to stop engaging in unhealthy sexual behaviors and yet could not stop? Was my
willpower enough to stop them?
16. Am I willing to be open to new ways of thinking and living? To what extent do I feel ready
for a different way of doing things?
17. How does self-control work for me? Has my self-control failed in stopping my behaviors and
the painful consequences that come with them?

“With this step, we recognize that we have a disease, not a mere weakness or character flaw,
and that we are powerless to change this fact. We honestly admit that we don’t have all the
answers and that we need help.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 23)

18. Do I recognize that addictions exist? Can I accept that addiction is a disease?
19. How do weaknesses or character flaws differentiate from an addiction?
20. Do I feel that in recognizing that I have a disease and with the desire to recover, I would
need to admit that I need help?
21. What answers can others provide me that I cannot get on my own? Do I feel that I am
better than the rest? Do I fear others will see me as weak?

“It is difficult to accept that we are unable to manage our lives, and even more difficult to
admit this to others, but our experience has shown that we have no choice but to surrender,
or else return to acting out, and all that follows from it.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 23)

22. Do I find it difficult to accept that I cannot manage life on my own? Is it more difficult to
admit it to others?
23. How would admitting – to myself and to others – that I cannot manage my life be helpful?
24. Do I trust the positive experience of other sober addicts who are living healthier lives?
25. Do I agree that to recover, I need to admit I have a problem or return to my addiction and
the consequences that follow?

“In writing a First Step, we list examples of our powerlessness, including the progression of
our acting-out behaviors, actions that violated our own values, efforts we made to stop, and
occasions where we knew that these behaviors would lead to serious consequences yet did
them anyway.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 23)

26. What examples of powerlessness from as far back as I can remember can I list?
27. How did my acting-out progress?
28. What behaviors did I engage in that, though they went against my morals and values, I did
anyway?
29. What situations did I take part in that, though I knew had serious consequences, I did
anyway?
“In a written First Step, we also list the ways that sex addiction made our lives
unmanageable. If we spent money on our addiction, we can try to estimate how much money
we spent. If we spent time, we can consider how many hours we spent, including the time we
spent in fantasy or obsession.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 23)

30. How much money did I spend on my sex addiction?

31. How much time did I spend on acting out? How much time did I spend on fantasy or
obsession?

“If we took the risk of arrest, violence, or disease, we can examine each specific risk we took.
We also write about the specific ways our behaviors affected our physical and mental health,
our work, the lives of those we love, and any other consequences, internal or external, that
we experienced.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, pages 23-24)

32. Did I risk being arrested? If so, what were these situations? How could this have, or has it
had animpact on my life?
33. Did I risk being in violent situations? If so, what were these situations? How could this have,
or has it had an impact on my life?
34. Did I risk contracting a disease? If so, what were these situations? How could this have, or
has it had an impact on my life?
35. In what specific ways could my behaviors have, or have they already had, an impact on my
physical and/or mental health?
36. In what specific ways could my behaviors have, or have they already had, an impact on my
work?
37. In what specific ways could my behaviors have, or have they already had, an impact on the
lives of those I love?
38. Did my behavior have, or has it already had any other consequences, internal or external? If
so, what were these consequences?

“Our fantasies and obsessions distracted us from the things we needed to do. We often
neglected our responsibilities and put off doing things that we didn’t want to face.” (Sex
Addicts Anonymous, page 24)

39. What responsibilities did I neglect due to my fantasies and obsessions?

40. Did I neglect to do other things? If so, what?

“Addictive sexual behavior increased our loneliness and insecurity, damaged our self-worth,
estranged us from our spiritual nature, and often resulted in emotional trauma.” (Sex Addicts
Anonymous, page 24)

41. Did my sexual behavior increase my loneliness? If so, how?

42. What about my insecurity? Did it increase as my behavior progressed? If so, how?
43. How about my self-worth, was it damaged? If so, how?
44. Was my spirituality affected? If so, how did it suffer?
45. Did my behaviors result in emotional trauma? If so, in what ways?

“Many of us have found it helpful to examine our sexual behavior in detail when working this
step. Some of us write a history of our sex addiction, from as far back as we can remember up
to the present, trying to leave nothing out.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 23)

46. Does my sponsor consider it helpful to write a story about my sexual history? If so, I write a
single story from as far back as I can remember to the present using sober non-graphic non-
euphoric language.

“The important thing is to work the First Step now, to the best of our ability, in the
knowledge that we can always work it again when we need to.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous,
page 24)

47. Have I worked this step to the best of my ability?

48. Am I aware that I can always work it again if I need to?
49. Do I admit I'm powerless over addictive sexual behavior —that my life had become
unmanageable? After a moment of reflection, I answer either yes or no.

“Learning to be vulnerable, admitting that we don’t have all the answers, and asking for and
receiving help are all essential to our recovery. As we fully admit our dilemma, and our
inability to find a way out, we find that we are now ready to hear the solution. We are ready
for Step Two.” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 25)