Chung 1

Audrey Chung 鍾雅茹

Instructor: Nicholas de Villiers

Interdisciplinary Seminar I: World Cinema and the Cross-Cultural Encounter

January 5, 2024

Exploring Greek Family Dynamics, Legacy, Greek Spirit, And Otherness in My Big

Fat Greek Wedding

My Big Fat Greek Wedding is an American romantic film released on

February 22, 2002. The film is directed by Joel Zwick and stars Nia Vardalos as

Toula Portokalos, John Corbett as Ian Miller, Lainie Kazan as Maria Portokalos,

Toula's mother, Michael Constantine as Costas "Gus" Portokalos, Toula's father,

Louis Mandylor as Nikos "Nick" Portokalos, Toula's younger brother, and Andrea

Martin as Aunt Voula, (Wikipedia). It is based on the love story of a second-

generation Greek girl, Toula Portokalos, and an American teacher, Ian Miller. My Big

Fat Greek Wedding explores the complexities of the connections between Toula and

her family and as a second generation of a migrant family. This film prompts

individuals to contemplate a myriad of complex issues, encouraging a profound

reflection on diverse themes, such as the struggles of balancing individual desires

with family expectations, the continuity of family traditions, cultural clashes between

Greeks and Americans, the importance of family in our lives, and the connection

between food and family in Greek traditions etc.

I will delve into a variety of topics that illuminate the intricacies of this rich

and complex society. From exploring gender roles and family dynamics to uncovering

the unifying power of food and the significance of Greek pride, my research aims to

shed light on the unique characteristics of Greek culture. By analyzing the impact of
Chung 2

stereotypes and the portrayal of "otherness" in Greek cinema, I hope to offer new

insights and deepen our understanding of this film.

In “FILM IN REVIEW; 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'”, Dave Kehr said, “My

Big Fat Greek Wedding is an amiable, offhanded comedy about ethnic identity and

last-chance romance.” This film is known for its humor, wit, and heartwarming

portrayal of cultural clashes and family dynamics. The wedding becomes a grand,

boisterous, and comically chaotic celebration that brings the two families together. It

was an unexpected success at the box office and received positive reviews for its

relatable themes and lovable characters. The success of the film spawned 2 sequels,

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 and 3, released in 2016 and 2023 respectively.

The film focuses on how Toula experienced a self-discovery journey and fell

in love with typical American man, Ian. The film unfolds with the three things that

nice Greek girls are supposed to do in life, in order, marry Greek boys, make Greek

babies, and feed everyone until the day they die. Some of her family expect her to get

married soon because she is thirty years old, and most of her family get married in

their twenties and gave births to at least three children. One day she decides to follow

her mind. She proposes to her parents to allow her to enroll in college to learn

computer science, so that she can help the family restaurant. Maria persuades Gus to

agree with that idea. She begins to transform her appearance and make some friends

with non-Greek girls. When she sees the post about computers and tourism, Toula

suggestes to Aunt Voula that she let her work in her traveling agency. Later, she

meets Ian at traveling agency, and they start to date. Gus is a person who very strict to

the tradition. He gets upset when Toula gets her relationship with Ian caught by her

cousin. Despite the cultural differences and the challenges posed by her family's

disapproval, Toula and Ian decide to get married. Gus insists that Ian must be baptized
Chung 3

Greek Orthodox and the wedding most be held at Greek church. Comparing to

Toula’s big and vibrant family, Ian’s family is more petite and reserved than hers. In

the end, her parents buy them a house which humorously was the house of their mean

American neighbors. Toula’s daughter still goes to Greek school like her mother

when she was little.

In “12 interesting things you probably didn't know about the My Big Fat

Greek Wedding movies”, Eve Crosbie mentions the twelve fun facts that the general

audiences won’t know if they aren’t revealed. I will pick some fun facts mentions

below. “My Big Fat Greek Wedding is based on a real-life story, and was a stage play

before it was a movie.” This film is based on, the main actress and script writer, Nia

Vardalos’s real life story. She married a non-Greek actor, Ian Gomez. In the film, he

plays Mike who is Ian’s best friend. Crosbie also mentions that on the couple’s first

date, oranges and apples appear in the background of the restaurant. At the end of the

film, Gus says “Portokalos is apple and Milo is orange”. Gus concludes, “We're all

different, but, in the end, we're all fruit.” The film portrays the culture clashes and the

comedic situations that arise as the couple attempts to navigate the complexities of

planning a wedding and merging their two worlds. Toula's story is like a small

example that shows how personal growth connects with the many values in Greek

families. If we look more into these ideas and explore Greek traditions, we can learn

more about the cultural background that shapes Toula's journey.

Greek family traditions are deeply rooted in unity and hospitality. Family

plays a central role in Greek culture. Strong family bonds and support are often

emphasized, with multiple generations living close to each other and actively

participating in each other's lives. Toula’s big family mostly works in the family

business. Nick, Toula, Maria, and Gus all work for their family restaurant, Dancing
Chung 4

Zorba’s. Later, Toula works for Voula, and her cousin, Nikki, works in Dancing

Zorba’s. the Greek family show their hospitality with food and drink. The first

meeting of Ian and the family, Aunt Voula invites him to her house for dinner, but he

is a vegetarian. Aunt Voula mocks of vegetarians by the way. Later in the film, they

depict how they treat strangers with their hospitality. When Ian’s parents come to

Toula’s house, Maria invites all the family to the party. They dance in front of their

Greek-palace like house. Everyone in their family toast and bottoms up when they are

having fun at the party. Glass after glass, Ian’s parents already drunk, but the whole

family is still sober.

Food plays an important part in Greek cultures. The way they celebrate

holidays and events always company with food. In “Recognizing Food as Part of

Ethno-Cultural Identities in The Multicultural Societies Through Diasporic Cinema:

Comparative Analysis of The Movies The Big Night And My Big Fat Greek

Wedding”, Bitsani Eugenia and Anselmi William discuss two theories about the

connections between food and identity. The first one emphasizes the experience of

eating, where food choices are influenced by ideological, philosophical, or religious

beliefs. The second one focuses on how sharing and enjoying food together can

strengthen a sense of belonging to a group. The first one is irrelevant to the topic; I

will discuss the following scenes with the second theory. In the film, food shows up to

emphasize the Greek identity.

In the scene, the family celebrates Ian’s and his parents’ first meetings with

food, drinks, and dance. The family present all the Greek traditional food to them

such as spanakopita, roasted lamb, and ouzo. When Ian’s parents refuse to Gus’s “red

meat”, Gus feels frustrated about their refusal. This action exactly highlights the

second theory that the negation breaks the Greek’s “unity”. Gus calls them “dry
Chung 5

bread” and disagrees to Toula’s marriage. In “Nice Greek Girls Are Supposed to

Marry Greek Boys… and Feed Everyone: Food, Gender, and Ethnicity in My Big Fat

Greek Wedding (2002)”, Anca Luminiţa Iancu examines the complexities of the

Greek American family dynamics portrayed in the film, highlighting the tensions

between traditional cultural values and the aspirations of the younger generation.

Iancu mentions that how cooking traditional food serves as a source of ethnic and

personal pride for Maria, a first-generation immigrant woman. Maria says food as a

powerful tool in her ethnic and gender identity. She only cooks Greek traditional food

in the film, highlighting the pride as Greek.

In “7 Struggles of Being Greek, as Told by My Big Fat Greek Wedding”,

Demi Kallis mentions that every Greek woman should be a great cook. If a girl

doesn’t know how to cook, no man will marry her. Being a great cook is not only a

source of pride for a Greek mother but a necessary qualification for a Greek girl.

Traditional gender roles are prevalent, with men serving as providers and

women handling domestic duties. Gus believes that a girl shouldn’t go for personal

academical achievement. He strongly disagrees Toula’s idea for college. According to

Iancu, Toula's desire for independence and self-discovery through education and

career aspirations clashes with her father's traditional expectations of her getting

married and starting a family at a young age. This conflict reflects the generational

divide in attitudes towards women's roles and aspirations within the Greek American

community (Iancu). Then, Maria tells Toula, “The man is the head, the woman is the

neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.” In this film, they play with this

idea, Maria is the bridge between Toula and Gus. She helps Toula to persuade Gus to

accept the fact that she won’t marry a Greek boy. In the scene of Toula’s new job, the

three women, Toula, Maria, and Voula, discuss how they make Gus feel like he
Chung 6

comes up with the idea himself, when they plan to let Voula working in the traveling

agency. When Toula introduces Niko, her brother, she mentions two things that he

needs to do in his life: cooking at the restaurant and marrying the Greek virgin. This

implies that the Greek women need to preserve as virgins before marriages. Toula

also break this tradition with Ian when they sometimes date in “Ian’s department.”

She sets the path for Niko to study at college and encourage him to pursue his dream

in art. She can be seen as the typical American woman in Hollywood film industry

which the kind of woman break the social norms to pursue what she wants or to be.

The Greeks are a people with a history of more than four thousand years,

mainly living in the Balkan Peninsula in southeastern Europe and Cyprus in the

eastern Mediterranean. Their culture and art have had a profound impact on Western

civilization. Hence, Greeks often take pride in their rich history, cultural heritage, and

contributions to Western civilization. This pride can be seen in various aspects of

daily life, including celebrations, traditions, and even discussions about history and

philosophy. Toula’s family house is one of the examples, they decorate like Ancient

Greek architecture, including the colors of Greek flag, the Corinthian Orders at front

door, the statues at pawn. Another great example is that Gus will explain every word

which can be explained with Greek. In the scene, young Toula’s friend asks Gus to

explain “kimono” in Greek. Obviously, it’s a Japanese word for traditional Japanese

garments. However, Gus still explains it with Greek, saying it coming from robe and

winter in Greek. Furthermore, Gus asks the three children everything about Greek

cultures or histories every morning, reminding them not to forget their roots.

The strong sense of Greek pride and cultural identity finds resonance in the

literary through Nikos Kazantzakis's Zorba the Greek. the novel weaves a narrative

around Alexis Zorba, whose enthusiasm for life and unconventional wisdom serve as
Chung 7

a testament to the Greek culture. Both whether in the domestic scenes or the

exploration of Kazantzakis's novel, reflect a profound connection to the Greek legacy

maintaining its legacy. Both portrayals offer a view of the lasting pride and influence

of Greek history and culture on both domestic and literary deceptions.

Zorba the Greek, written by Nikos Kazantzakis and published in 1946,

narrates Alexis Zorba assisting in managing a lignite mine on Crete. Zorba the Greek,

written by Nikos Kazantzakis and published in 1946, narrates Alexis Zorba assisting

in managing a lignite mine on Crete. The novel delves into profound philosophical

themes. Zorba's positive character, brimming with zest for life and wisdom, garnered

praise for its lively portrayal of Greek culture and the complexities of human nature

(SuperSummary).

Zorba the Greek helps others to shape the characteristics of Greek people.

Zorba has been recognized as typical Greek for years. However, not every Greek is

like Zorba, some may be negative and not every family is as hospitable as Toula's

family. Some people criticized My Big Fat Greek Wedding for promoting stereotypes

about Greeks. The following paragraphs will explore whether the Greek spirits be

stereotypes or just their lovely characteristics.

In “It's All Greek to Me: Misappropriations of Greekness in American Mass

Media”, Marina Hassapopoulou critically examines the misappropriation of

Greekness in American mass media, particularly in Hollywood films and

documentaries. Hassapopoulou discusses the under-expression and stereotypes of

Greeks in popular media, highlighting the impact of these misrepresentations on the

collective perception of Greek culture. She argues that My Big Fat Greek Wedding

might increase the stereotypes about Greek Americans. The repeating “embarrassing”

scenes perceive by Toula for her family’s actions. The exaggerating makeup and
Chung 8

costumes can lead to misunderstand about Greek Americans. Moreover, Gus’s

obsession towards “Windex” might guide the audiences to think that Greek elders are

stubborn and superstitious. In "It’s Greek to Me: The Politics and Shape of Greek-

American Identity", Angela Boukourakis mentions that the miller family

differentiates Toula from her identity (53). Toula was born in the US as American but

introduced as Greek. Toula initially resists her Greek identity until she meets Ian, who

encourages her to share some of her family stories and embrace her Greek identity.

The final wedding is a display of Toula's balance between her Greekness and

Americanness. The film is seen as a portrayal of the struggles and achievements of

Greek-American women in balancing their “Greek-ness” and “American-ness” (43).

Boukourakis also argues that the film is important because it presents Greek-

American identity as a viable possibility amidst the multicultural society that has

emerged in the last 50 years of the 20th century (65). In “When “Second Generation”

Narratives and Hollywood Meet: Making Ethnicity in My Big Fat Greek Wedding”,

Yiorgos Anagnostou states that “the film relies on stereotypes and comedy to

effectively neutralized this menace.” The humor and stereotype serve to eliminate the

cultural threat from American society. Anagnostou also mentions that the film truly

humiliated the male (Gus) instead the female. Gus is satirically portrayed as vulgar

Greek. I corroborate her statement with the idea that Gus is the most condemn person

in the film. He is designed to be the negative voice for some adamant and

conservative people in society. However, the film narrates positively with his change

to become more receptive to embrace different culture into his life.

The film separates Greek and American cultures distinctively from the

beginning to exaggerate the difference between the two cultures. Hence, the

“otherness” stands out in the two groups. The film differentiates the two cultures by
Chung 9

the size of the family, the dynamics in the groups, and the food they consume every

day.

“Otherness” is used to describe people who are seen as different from oneself.

This idea is used in philosophy to talk about how individuals see and define others as

separate from themselves. The condition of “otherness” is being different from the

social identity of a person and from one's own identity. In philosophy, “otherness”

refers to the characteristics that make someone distinct from the usual norms of

society, politics, aesthetics, and more. Being labeled as “the other” can lead to

exclusion from mainstream society, pushing individuals to the margins. In “Picturing

‘Otherness’: Cinematic Representations of ‘Greekness’ in My Big Greek Fat

Wedding”, Yvonne Kosma mentions, “food consumption serves as a common marker

in film to signify cultural difference, usually constructing the ‘other’ as exotic,

primitive, outlandish or even savage.” The family meals are big, lively, and full of

Greek dishes. When Toula falls in love with Ian from a different background, his

family's different eating habits become noticeable. Nowadays, many people start to

care about the consumption of food. Everyone chooses to be vegetarian depending on

different purposes, such as health life, environmental awareness, animal rights, or

religious beliefs. Maybe Ian views meat consumption is unhealthy or unmoral. To

both sides, they all think another side is “otherness.” This issue further deepens the

differences between them. In the scene, when young Toula brings her lunch to school,

the blonde girl teases her “moussaka” as “mous-ca-ca” which makes Toula feels

ashamed of her Greek identity. “Other” girls’ hair is blonde but only Toula’s is

brunette. Also, other girls eat classical American sandwiches, but Toula eat Greek

moussaka made from her mother. From the beginning of the film, the audiences see

the two different cultures clash together. After Ian’s baptism, Toula and Ian blend
Chung 10

them together as their special wedding. As the blending processing, the awkwardness

disappears when the two cultures unite together.

In conclusion, My Big Fat Greek Wedding is a profound American romantic

film that evokes people to dive into the Greek immigrant world and delves into the

complexities of second-generation Greek American identity. The film explores

themes such as balancing individual desires with family expectations, the continuity

of family traditions, cultural clashes between Greeks and Americans, the importance

of family in our lives, and the connection between food and family in Greek

traditions. Through its portrayal of cultural clashes and family dynamics, this film

prompts viewers to reflect on their own relationships and contemplate important

issues. From traditional Greek gender roles, the significance of Greek pride, the

importance of food to the Greek stereotypes and “otherness” in the film. This movie

offers insights into the Greek culture while entertaining audiences with its humor and

wit. I also employee some scholars’ research to elaborate my thoughts through their

theories. Zorba the Greek remains a timeless exploration of the pursuit of a

meaningful and passionate existence, leaving an indelible mark on literary legacy.

This book captures the essence of the Greek character, and it holds great significance

for the Greeks. However, not all the members of the Greek American community

exhibit the same level of hospitality as Toula’s family does in real life. These could

potentially reinforce the stereotypical views of the “optimistic and energetic” Greeks

among the viewers. Individuals most acknowledge the distinction between the

actuality of living and the fantasy of cinema.

Works Cited

Anagnostou, Yiorgos. "When 'Second Generation' Narratives and Hollywood Meet:

Making Ethnicity in My Big Fat Greek Wedding." MELUS, vol. 37, no. 4, Winter

2012, pp. 1-25.

Bitsani, Eugenia. “Recognizing Food as Part of Ethno-Cultural Identities in the

Multicultural Societies through Diasporic Cinema: Comparative Analysis of the

Movies the Big Night and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” ResearchGate, Oct. 2021.

Boukourakis, Angela. "It’s Greek to Me: The Politics and Shape of Greek-American

Identity." Master's thesis, North Carolina State University, 2006.

Crosbie, Eve. “12 Interesting Things You Probably Didn’t Know about the My Big.

Fat Greek Wedding Movies.” Insider.

Hassapopoulou, Marina. “‘It’s All Greek to Me’: Misappropriations of ‘Greekness’ in

American Mass-Media.” Www.academia.edu.

Iancu, Anca-Luminița. ““Nice Greek Girls Are Supposed to Marry Greek Boys ….

and Feed Everyone”: Food, Gender, and Ethnicity in My Big Fat Greek Wedding

(2002).” East-West Cultural Passage 21 (2021): 71 - 91.

Kallis, Demi Washington University in St. Louis December 4th, and Demi Kallis

Washington University in St. Louis. “7 Struggles of Being Greek, as Told by My

Big Fat Greek Wedding.” Spoon University, Her Campus Media LLC.

Kehr, Dave. “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” The New York Times, The New York.

Times, 19 Apr. 2002.

Kosma, Yvonne A. “Picturing ‘Otherness’: Cinematic Representations of ‘Greekness’

in My Big Greek Fat Wedding in Changing Worlds & Signs of the Times /

Selected Proceedings from the 10th International Conference of the Hellenic

Semiotics Society (E-Book).” Www.academia.edu.

“Zorba the Greek Character Analysis.” SuperSummary, SuperSummary.