CONCISE IS NICE!

AN AID FOR WRITING CONCISELY 1

© 2019 The Writing Center at GULC. All rights reserved.

The following principles are designed to help you, the legal writer, produce a concise written
product. 2 This document provides numerous tips to help you write concisely; however, the
overarching goal should be to simplify your writing. Concise legal writing explains complex
ideas simply. Using simple words and short sentences not only makes your writing more concise,
but also easier to understand. Novice legal writers may feel tempted to use complex words and
sentence structures in an attempt to mimic language used frequently in judicial opinions. We
have all read long passages consisting of only a single sentence. Such sentences tend to be less
meaningful to readers because they make reading a chore. Avoiding the temptation to use
unnecessarily complex language is critical to writing concisely.

This document is intended to help you write simply and concisely by demonstrating the
importance of: using concrete language, avoiding excessive case quotations, focusing on the
actor, using verbs rather than nominalizations, avoiding idioms, and deleting words or phrases
that lack meaning.

1. Use Concrete Language

Using concrete language instead of abstract language promotes concise writing. Abstract
language refers to general and vague concepts, such as “truth,” “fairness,” and “kindness.”
Abstract language often uses jargon and gets to the point only after passing several roundabouts.
Concrete language refers to specific things, actions, and the senses. Concrete language uses
plain, clear, direct statements that convey your meaning accurately.

Abstract: To excel in law school, you should consider working hard in the various
assignments you receive and preparing your mind for the rigors of the law.

Concrete: To excel in law school, you should go to every class, do your reading, and
take notes.

2. Avoid Excessive Case Quotations

Excessive quotation not only interrupts the flow of your document, but also adds extra words.
Paraphrasing of case quotations is often a good start to paring down a wordy document.

1
2019 update by Katie Marshall; 2010 update by Jonathan Eser.
2The principles, with slight modification, derive from JOSEPH WILLIAMS, STYLE: LESSONS IN CLARITY AND GRACE (12th ed.
2010), CHARLES R. CALLEROS, LEGAL METHOD AND WRITING (2d ed. 1994), FRANK E. COOPER, WRITING IN LAW PRACTICE (2d ed.
1963), GERTRUDE BLOCK, EFFECTIVE LEGAL WRITING (4th ed. 1992), RICHARD C. WYDICK, PLAIN ENGLISH FOR LAWYERS (4th ed.
1998), and Diana R. Donahoe, TEACHINGLAW.COM : LEGAL RESEARCH AND WRITING (2016), https://teachinglaw.com/.

1
Additionally, excessive case quotations can detract from a writer’s credibility. By paraphrasing
information from a case, rather than quoting directly, you can better demonstrate your command
of the law to the reader.

Case Quotation: “To invoke the privilege the journalist carries the burden of
proffering at least preponderant evidence of the mutuality
of the understanding, or agreement, of confidentiality. He
may do so by direct or indirect evidence, by presenting
proof of an express, i.e., a verbalized, understanding or
agreement, or by offering preponderant proof of
circumstances from which a mutual agreement of
confidentiality may reasonably be implied.” Andrews v.
Andreoli, 400 N.Y.S.2d 442, 447 (Sup. Ct. 1977).

Paraphrased Rule: To invoke privilege, a journalist must prove that an

agreement of confidentiality, whether express or implied,
exists. Andrews v. Andreoli, 400 N.Y.S.2d 442, 447 (Sup.
Ct. 1977).

3. Focus on the Actor, the Action, and the Object with Active Verbs

When you use active instead of passive verbs, your writing becomes briefer and clearer. Using
passive verbs promotes using wasted words. One way to remedy the use of passive verbs is to
ask: “Who is doing what to whom in this sentence?” Next, rewrite the sentence to focus on three
key elements 1) the actor, 2) the action, and 3) the object of the action.

Not only do passive verbs add length, but they also divert attention from the most important
position in the sentence—the beginning—where the reader wants to find the actor and the action.

Passive: Active:
The brief was read by us. We read the brief.
The evidence was suppressed by the The court suppressed the evidence.
court.
The holding was reached by the court. The court held.
The argument was presented by the The plaintiff argued.
plaintiff.
A complaint was filed by the union. The union filed the complaint.
Our conclusion is supported by Legislative history supports our
legislative history. conclusion.
It is possible for the court to modify the The court can modify the judgment.
judgment.

However, not all uses of passive verbs should be avoided. Your use of passive verbs should be a
conscious decision. A common example of using a passive verb consciously is using such a verb

2
to deemphasize the actor as a persuasive technique. For instance, if you are representing a client
charged with a crime, you may use passive verbs to minimize the allegations against your client.
For example, one might say, “The victim was attacked after an argument over a parking spot”
instead of saying, “The defendant allegedly attacked the victim after an argument over a parking
spot>”

4. Use Verbs, Avoid Unnecessary Nominalizations

A nominalization is a verb that has been turned into a noun. For instance, act becomes take
action, assume becomes make assumptions, and conclude becomes draw conclusions. As a
writer uses more nominalizations, surplus words start to gather. Cut out excess nominalizations
and you cut out surplus words.

Nominalization: Verb:
The implementation of the plan by the The team successfully implemented
team was successful. the plan.
There was an affirmative decision for The administration decided to
expansion by the administration. expand the program.
A revision of the program will result in If we revise the program, we can
increases of efficiency to our clients. serve clients more efficiently.

Nominalizations can often be spotted by their endings:

- al
- ment
- ant
- ence
- ion
- ent
- ancy
- ency
- ance
- ity

5. Avoid Word-Wasting Idioms

These idioms contain superfluous language. While your audience may understand their meaning,
superfluous language takes up space, adds little value, and detracts from more important
language.

Verbose: Concise:
the fact that she died her death
he was aware of the fact that he knew
because of the fact that because
in many cases you will find often you will find

3
Verbose: Concise:
that was a situation in which the court there the court
during the time that during, while
for a period of for
this is a topic that this topic

6. Delete Words or Phrases Lacking Meaning

Many students struggle to reduce their word count; however, students may not realize that they
are using meaningless words or phrases which are easily excised from a document. Such
additions are not only superfluous, but also may confuse your reader. To be concise and clear,
consider deleting meaningless words or phrases.

Compound Constructions

Compound constructions use three or four words to do the work of one or two words. They suck
the vigor from your writing. Lawyers often use compound constructions rather than plain
English. In our attempt to write precisely, we become verbose.

Compound Construction: Simplified:

at the point in time then
by the reason of because of
by virtue of by, under
for the purpose of to
in accordance with by, under
inasmuch as since
in connection with with, about, concerning
in favor of for
in the event that if
prior to before
subsequent to after
with a view to to
with reference to about, concerning

Compound constructions are often used in introductory phrases and can create unnecessary bulk
at the beginning of your sentence. To write concisely, consider revising the following
introductory phrases to become simpler.

Introductory Phrase: Simplified:

in order to to
despite the fact that although
due to the fact that because

4
Introductory Phrase: Simplified:
first and foremost first
it is important to note that importantly
needless to say no replacement—if it is needless to
say, the sentence will work well
without it.

Redundant Legalisms

As a legal audience, we search for meaning in each word and phrase, but our search may be in
vain if the author carelessly uses redundant words.

However, some redundancies are terms of art and cannot be deleted. Before modifying a phrase
which appears to be redundant, first determine if the phrase acquires a specific meaning in the
legal context. If so, it no longer is meaningless and should remain in your document.
Nevertheless, many traditional legal phrases are meaninglessly redundant and can be deleted.

Common examples of redundant synonyms in legal writing include:

• alter or change
• confessed and acknowledged
• made and entered into
• order and direct
• peace and quiet
• free and clear
• save and except
• full and complete
• true and correct
• good and sufficient

Redundant Modifiers

When revising a document, take a step back to consider if you have included words that are
already implied. Some words stand on their own and do not need modifiers to convey meaning.
For example, it is unnecessary to say an event was a “terrible tragedy”—the terrible nature of the
event is implied in the word “tragedy.”

Common examples of redundant modifiers include:

• free gift
• personal opinion
• final outcome
• basic fundamentals
• collaborate together

5
• difficult dilemma
• unintended mistake

When might a writer wish to include redundant modifiers? For emphasis. While the modifier
remains redundant, particularly in persuasive writing, including the modifier may work to
emphasize the writer’s point.