Chapter 3

Improving Writing techniques

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-1

Formal Research Methods for
Gathering Information
• Search manually (books, magazines,
journals).
• Access electronically (Internet, databases,
compact discs).
• Go to the source (interviews, surveys,
questionnaires, focus groups).
• Conduct scientific experiments (measure
variables using control groups).
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-2
Informal Research Methods for
Gathering Information

• Look in organization files.

• Talk with your boss.
• Interview the target audience.
• Conduct an informal survey.
• Brainstorm for ideas.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-3

Organize Information With an
Outline
Title
I. First major component
A. First subpoint
1. Detail, illustration, evidence
2. Detail, illustration, evidence
B. Second subpoint
1. Detail, illustration, evidence
2. Detail, illustration, evidence

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-4

Organize Information With an
Outline

II. Second major component

A. First subpoint
1. Detail, illustration, evidence
2. Detail, illustration, evidence

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-5

Organize Information With an
Outline
Tips:
• Define main topic in title.
• Divide the topic into three to five main points.
• Break the components into subpoints.
• Strive to make each component exclusive (no
overlapping).
• Don’t put a single item under a major component.
• Use details, illustrations, and evidence to support
subpoints.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-6

Organizing Business Messages

Direct Strategy Indirect Strategy

Main idea comes first Explanation precedes
followed by details and main idea
explanations

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-7

Organizing Business Messages

Direct Strategy Indirect Strategy

Advantages: Advantages:
• Saves reader’s time • Respects feelings of
audience
• Sets a proper frame of
• Encourages a fair
mind
hearing
• Prevents frustration
• Minimizes a negative
• Appears businesslike reaction

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-8

Organizing Business Messages

Direct Strategy Indirect Strategy

Useful when: Useful when:
• Receiver is receptive • Receiver may be upset
• Receiver requires no • Receiver may be hostile
education about topic • Receiver must be
• Message is routine persuaded or educated
• Message is sensitive

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-9

Effective Sentences

Complete sentences have subjects and

verbs and make sense (are capable of
standing alone).
Example:
Subject Verb
Employees send many e-mail messages.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-10

Effective Sentences

Clauses also have subjects and verbs.

Independent clauses can stand alone;
dependent clauses rely on independent
clauses for their meaning.
Example:
Dependent Clause Independent Clause
When you speak, you reveal yourself.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-11

Effective Sentences

Phrases are groups of related words

without subjects and verbs.
Example:
Phrase Phrase
In the afternoon, I work at the mall.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-12

Effective Sentences

Avoid sentence fragments.

Fragment
Even though the pay was low. Many candidates
applied.

Revision:
Even though the pay was low, many candidates
applied.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-13

Effective Sentences

Avoid run-on (fused) sentences.

Fused Sentences
Two candidates applied only one was hired.

Revisions:
Two candidates applied. Only one was hired.
Two candidates applied; only one was hired.
Two candidates applied, but only one was hired.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-14

Effective Sentences

Avoid comma-splice sentences.

Comma Splice
Many were qualified, Jeff was hired.

Revisions:
Many were qualified. Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified; Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified; however, Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified, but Jeff was hired.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-15

Try Your Skill

Revise the following to avoid fragments,

run-on sentences, and comma-splices.
• You can create a Web-based job portfolio it
will impress potential employers.
You can create a Web-based job portfolio; it
will impress potential employers.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-16

Try Your Skill

Revise the following to avoid fragments,

run-on sentences, and comma-splices.
• Send a scannable résumé. When you apply
for a job.
Send a scannable résumé when you apply for
a job.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-17

Try Your Skill

Revise the following to avoid fragments,

run-on sentences, and comma-splices.
• Although technical skills are important.
Communication skills are also in great
demand.
Although technical skills are important,
communication skills are also in great demand.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-18

Try Your Skill

Revise the following to avoid fragments,

run-on sentences, and comma-splices.
• College used to be for young people, however
many older students now seek degrees.
College used to be for young people; however,
many older students now seek degrees.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-19

Emphasis Through Mechanics

Underlining:
Which of these methods do you prefer?

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-20

Emphasis Through Mechanics

Italics and Boldface:

The use of boldface and italics captures the
reader’s attention.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-21

Emphasis Through Mechanics

All Caps:
Notice how EXPENSE-FREE stands out.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-22

Emphasis Through Mechanics

Dashes:
Other methods–including dashes–may be
used.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-23

Emphasis Through Mechanics

Tabulation:
Listing items vertically emphasizes them:
1. First item
2. Second item
3. Third item

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-24

Emphasis Through Mechanics

• Other means of achieving mechanical

emphasis include the following: use of
white space, color, lines, boxes, columns,
titles, headings, and subheadings.
• Which of the above techniques are
appropriate in business letters? Memos?
E-mail messages? Reports?

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-25

Emphasis and Deemphasis
Through Style
• To emphasize an idea:
• Use a vivid expression, such as in “bug-free software”
rather than “dependable software.”
• Label the idea with expressions such as more
importantly, the principal reason, or the best
alternative.
• Put the important idea first or last in the sentence.
• Put the important idea in a simple sentence or in an
independent clause.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-26

Emphasis and Deemphasis
Through Style
• To deemphasize an idea:
• Use general, rather than specific, words (some
customers complained, rather than 125 customers
complained).
• Place the idea in a dependent clause connected to an
independent clause containing a positive idea.
Example:
Although items cannot be returned for cash, you will receive
store credit for any returned purchases.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-27

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs

Active-voice verbs show the subject performing

the action.
Examples:
Most major employers require drug testing.
(Active voice; the subject is acting)

Dr. Smith recommended Tina for the job.

(Active voice; the subject is acting)

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-28

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs

In passive-voice sentences, the subject is being

acted upon. Passive-voice verbs require helper
verbs.
Examples:
Drug testing is required by most major employers.
(Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)

Tina was recommended for the job by Dr. Smith.

(Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-29

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs

• Use the active voice for most business writing.

• Use the passive voice to emphasize an action
or the recipient of the action–rather than the
actor (Specialists were hired; Laura was
honored).
• Use the passive voice to break bad news
(Although your lease cannot be renewed, we
can offer . . . ).

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-30

Try Your Skill

Convert the following sentence to active

voice. You may have to add a subject.
• Our membership meeting was postponed by
the president.
The president postponed our membership
meeting.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-31

Try Your Skill

Convert the following sentence to active

voice. You may have to add a subject.
• The résumés of job candidates are sorted
quickly by the software program Resumix.
The software program Resumix sorts
résumés of job candidates quickly.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-32

Try Your Skill

Convert the following sentence to active

voice. You may have to add a subject.
• Computer paper was ordered yesterday.
Rachel ordered computer paper yesterday.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-33

Try Your Skill

Convert the following sentence to passive

voice.
• We must delay shipment of your
merchandise because of heavy demand.
Your merchandise shipment must be delayed
because of heavy demand.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-34

Try Your Skill

Convert the following sentence to passive

voice.
• The technician could not install the computer
program.
The computer program could not be installed.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-35

Developing Parallelism

Parallel expression results from balanced

construction. Match nouns with nouns,
verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases,
and clauses with clauses.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-36

Developing Parallelism

Poor: The process of writing involves

organizing, composing, and
revision.
Parallel: The process of writing involves
organizing, composing, and
revising. (Matching endings of
verbals)

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-37

Developing Parallelism

Poor: We are very concerned with the

quality of raw materials, where they are
located, and how much it costs to transport
them.
Parallel: We are very concerned with the
quality, location, and transpor- tation costs
of raw materials. (Matching nouns)

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-38

Developing Parallelism

Poor: Serena takes the telephone

orders, Matt locates the items in
the warehouse, and the items are
sent by Yolanda.
Parallel: Serena takes the telephone
orders, Matt locates the items in
the warehouse, and Yolanda
sends the items. (Matching voices
of verbs)
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-39
Try Your Skill

How could parallelism be improved in the

following sentence?
• Our knowledge management system focuses
on the collecting, storage, and sharing of
best practices.
Our knowledge management system focuses
on the collecting, storing, and sharing of best
practices.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-40
Try Your Skill

How could parallelism be improved in the

following sentence?
• We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth
because she has sincerity, she is reliable,
and she works with diligence.
We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth
because she is sincere, reliable, and diligent.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-41

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers

For clarity, modifiers must be close to the

words they describe or limit. Be
particularly careful to place a logical
subject immediately after an introductory
verbal phrase.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-42

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers

Poor: After considering the problem

carefully, new procedures were
suggested by management.
Revised: After considering the problem
carefully, management suggested
new procedures.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-43

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers

Poor: Any student has full online

privileges who is enrolled in the
college.
Revised: Any student who is enrolled in the
college has full online privileges.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-44

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers

Poor: It’s hard to understand why

employees would not go to our
technical support staff with software
problems.
Revised: It’s hard to understand why
employees with software problems would
not go to our technical support staff.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-45

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers

Poor: Using a search engine, the Web

site was finally located.
Revised: Using a search engine, we finally
located the Web site.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-46

Try Your Skill

Revise the following sentence to correct

any misplaced modifiers. Retain the
introductory phrase.
• To be hired, two years of experience is
required.
To be hired, one must have two years of
experience.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-47

Try Your Skill

Revise the following sentence to correct

any misplaced modifiers. Retain the
introductory phrase.
• Dipped in butter, you can really enjoy a fine
lobster.
Dipped in butter, a fine lobster can truly be
enjoyed.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-48

Try Your Skill

Revise the following sentence to correct

any misplaced modifiers.
• She died in the house in which she was born
at the age of 88.
At the age of 88, she died in the house in
which she was born.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-49

Try Your Skill

Revise the following sentence to correct

any misplaced modifiers.
• To receive an employment form, fill out this
application. (Tricky!)
The sentence is correct as it stands. “You” is the understood
subject of a command.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-50

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph
Coherence
To help guide your reader or listener from
one thought to another, develop
coherence by using one of these devices:
1. Repeat a key idea or key word(s).
Next month we plan to launch a promotion
for our new Web site. The promotion will
involve newspaper and TV campaigns.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-51

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph
Coherence
2. Use a pronoun.
Considerable interest is now being shown in
our extended certificates of deposit. They
are more profitable when left on deposit for
long periods of time.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-52

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph
Coherence
3. Use an appropriate transitional
expression.
Time Association Contrast
before, after although
first, second but
meanwhile however
next instead
until nevertheless
when, whenever on the other hand

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-53

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph
Coherence
3. Use an appropriate transitional
expression.
Cause–Effect Additional Idea
consequently furthermore
for this reason in addition
hence likewise
therefore moreover
similarly

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-54

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph
Coherence
3. Use an appropriate transitional
expression.
Illustration
in this way
for example

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-55

Paragraph Length

Paragraphs with eight or fewer printed lines

look inviting and readable.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-56

Composing the First Draft

• Complete all necessary research.

• Find a quiet place to concentrate and work.
• Prohibit calls, visitors, and interruptions.
• Organize information using an outline.
• Decide whether to sprint write (get your thoughts
down quickly and revise later) or revise as you go.
• Imagine you are talking to a reader or listener.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-57

End

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 3-58