Section 1

Quick ACA 12 Steps Workshop

Handout Worksheet
__________________

Laundry List Trait _________________________________

Step 6th Survival Trait _________________________________

Step 8 List 1. ________________________

Section 2
Opening with ACA’s Serenity Prayer
Higher Power,
Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know that one is me.

Set Aside Prayer:

Higher Power,
Please help me set aside everything I think I know about myself,
my past, my spiritual path, and especially you.
So I may have an open mind and a new experience
of myself, my past, my spiritual path, and you.
Please help me see the truth.
Section 3

Section 4
Step 1:

"We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our
lives had become unmanageable."
Qualification Questions (Yes / No):
-Was there an alcoholic or addict in the family?______
-Was there perfectionism in a parent or in the family?______
-Was your family militaristic?______
-Was there a hypochondriac parent?______
-Was there an emotionally ill parent?______
-Was there sexual abuse?______
-Was there incest?______
-Was there mental illness in a parent?______
-Do you feel there was some other form of family dysfunction present while you were a
child?______
Section 5
ACA – “I” Version of The Laundry List

1. I have become isolated and I am afraid of people and authority figures.

2. I am an approval seekers and I have lost my identity in the process.
3. I am frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
4. I have become an alcoholic / violent / hypochondriac / ultra religious / militaristic or I have
married one or have relationship with one, or both, or I have found another compulsive personality
such as a workaholic to fulfill my sick abandonment needs.
5. I live life from the viewpoint of victims and I am attracted by that weakness in my love and
friendship relationships.
6. I have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, and it is easier for me to be concerned with
others rather than myself; this enables me not to look too closely at my own faults, etc.
7. I get guilt feelings when I stand up for myself instead of giving in to others.
8. I am addicted to excitement / fear / drama.
9. I confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people I can “pity” and “rescue.”
10. I have “stuffed” my feelings from my traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or
express my feelings because it hurts so much (denial).
11. I judge myself harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
12. I am a dependent personality who is terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to
a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which I received from living
with sick people who were never there emotionally for me.
13. alcoholic / violent / hypochondriac / ultra religious / militaristic “ISM” is a family disease; I
became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though I did not pick up
the drink.
14. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
Section 6
Unmanageability Questions:
-Do you feel that growing up with your family of origin has effected your life in a negative
way?______

-Do you feel that the Laundry List Trait that you identified with has effected your life in a negative
way?______

Powerless Questions:

-Have you ever tried to change the behavior of your dysfunctional family with no result?______

-Have you ever tried to change the effects or behavior of the Laundry List Trait that you identified
with, with no result?______
Section 7

Step 2:

Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Step 3.

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.

Section 8
Step 4:

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Going back to the first step, recall the
trait that you identified with.
Referring back to the Laundry List Trait you related to in Step 1,
Questions:
 How do I identify with this trait?
 Are there any memories that are tied to this trait?
 How does this trait interfere in my life today?
 What are you feeling when you process this trait?

Section 9
Step 5:

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Guidelines for the person sharing:

-Avoid Half Measures
-Work through the pain and fear
-Be Honest
-Try to share something you have never shared before
-Be kind to yourself
-Share what you can

Guidelines for the listener:

-No touching
-No feedback
-No crosstalk
-Your role is to be a mirror, a mirror of love and compassion
-Look at the person who is about to share, smile at the person, listen to that person, be there for
them as you want them to be there for you.

-And when that person’s time is up say

“Thank you for sharing, I appreciate you, and the time we just spent.”
Section 10
Step 6:

Were entirely ready to have / were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Survival Traits associated with Laundry List Trait.

Trait Survival Trait / Defect

Trait 1. Fear of authority figures/people, isolation, fear of being judged, ridiculed
Trait 2. People pleasing, low self worth,
Trait 3. Fear of angry people, hyper sensitivity
Trait 4. Addictions, over eating, drama, porn/internet, media, codependency (addiction
to the addict).
Trait 5. Living as a victim. Self-critical, fear of scarcity, self-pity
Trait 6. Overdeveloped sense of responsibility… self-avoidance, denial
Trait 7. Guilt, Shame, self-abandonment
Trait 8. Addiction, fear, always need excitement, risk taking behaviour
Trait 9. Confusing love with pity, over attention on others, rescuing and advise giving
Trait 10. Stuffed feelings, unable speak my truth, holding back, not participating
Trait 11. Self-critical, putting down own self, self-punishment
Trait 12. Dependency on others, asking opinions, not able decide, self-doubt
Trait 13. Addictive behaviours, behaving and thinking like the dysfunctional person. i
became my parent
Trait 14. Reactors and not actor. Self-doubt,

6th Step Prayer

“God give me the willingness”

Section 11
Step 7:

Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

7th Step Prayer

“God. I am now ready that you should integrate my survival traits, which block me from accepting
your divine love. Grant me wholeness.

God, I humbly ask you to integrate my trait of…(insert your survival trait)________________.”
Section 12
Step 8:

Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

List of persons you have harmed:

___________________

-Are you willing to make amends to yourself, and the harm you have caused yourself?________

Section 13
Step: 9

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or
others.

Step 9 Amends:

“ I am involved in a program in which I am learning to change my behavior and to live more honestly
and openly. Part of the process involves making amends to people I have harmed with my behavior. I
am making amends to you for using (insert your survival trait from Step 6)_____________________.

I want to make it right. I am not making excuses but I have harmed people especially myself based
on my lack of knowledge about living.”

“I AM CHANGING MY BEHAVIOR!”

“(Insert First Name)__________________, I forgive you, I accept you exactly the way you are, and I
truly do love you.
Thank you”
Section 14

Step 10

Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

-Do you promise, to yourself, to do your very best to keep an eye out for this Laundry List and
Survival Trait that you identified?____

-Do you promise, to yourself, that when it does pop up in your life to promptly admit it?____

-Do you promise that when it pops up to forgive yourself?____

-Do you promise that when it pops up, and it harms you, or others, that you will make amends to
those that have been harmed?____

Section 15
Step 11:

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we
understand God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.
Prayer = Talking to God/Inner Child
Meditation = Listening to God/Inner Child
Excerpt from P.164 of The ACA Yellow Steps Workbook.
“Step Eleven is also where we further address our addiction to excitement… Through meditation we
learn to quiet our minds and to relax. With meditative techniques, we let go of racing thoughts. We
learn to be in the moment and to be present in our bodies… In Step Eleven, we take time out of the
day to focus on our spiritual path. We connect with God through our True Self when we find stillness
and listen for God’s footstep. Our True Self knows God’s call. The True Self knows the path that our
Higher Power takes to the heart. It is the path of love."
"Through Step Eleven, we find God’s will and a personal power that we did not know existed. There is
real power. We can have it if we make the effort and let our Higher Power lead the way.”
-Are you willing to make a commitment that when things are off in your life that you communicate where you are, and if
needed ask for help within your growing support network?____
-Are you willing to make a commitment that when things are off in your life that you listen to your body and your
instincts?____
-Are you willing to make a commitment that when things are off in your life that you listen to the stories within your growing
support network to help determine your next indicated action?____
Section 16

Step 12

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others
who still suffer, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Section 17

Closing Prayer

ACA Serenity Prayer

____ (God, Higher Power, Universe, Life, Cosmos),
grant me the Serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the Courage to change the one I can
and the Wisdom to know that one is me.

~~~~~~
Grant me patience for the changes that take time,
an appreciation for all that I have,
a tolerance for those with different struggles
and strength to get up and try again one day at a time.
~~~~~~
____ (God, Higher Power, Universe, Life, Cosmos), help me to believe the truth about myself – no
matter how beautiful it is!

Keep Coming Back. It works if we work it. We are worth it!!!!