How to Handle Difficult Coworkers

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.

I Was Told I ‘Would never Amount to Anything’ at Work—Here's What I Did Next Imagine this: you're giving your all at work, but someone with authority decides to break your spirit instead of building you up. It’s a tough pill to swallow, and it can happen in any workplace. In my case I took the person saying that no one would read a book I wrote and I have written 2 best selling books. When that person said I wouldn’t amount to anything, I grew in the company to be in a position higher than they were. And when they said the new style of leadership would never work, I used it to change the aerospace industry. No one’s words define you. Only what you do defines you. But here's the truth—bullies aren’t just teenagers in school. They wear suits, have fancy titles, and think they have the right to tear down others to feel powerful. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of workplace bullying, know you’re not alone. 💢 Research shows that 75% of employees experience or witness workplace bullying at some point in their careers. It’s a widespread issue, but there are ways to rise above it and come out stronger. Here's How to Take Back Your Power: 👉 Document Everything Keep a detailed record of every instance of bullying. This isn’t just for evidence; it’s a way to show yourself that what’s happening is real and unacceptable. 👉 Set Boundaries Firmly It’s okay to say “no” and push back when someone disrespects you. Assert your boundaries respectfully but firmly—this isn’t about retaliation; it’s about self-respect. 👉 Find Allies Connect with colleagues who have your back. Having a support system at work can help you feel more empowered and less isolated. 👉 Seek Professional Guidance Sometimes, it’s necessary to escalate the issue to HR or seek legal advice. Having professional support ensures that you’re not navigating this challenge alone. 💬 If you’ve faced workplace bullying, remember it’s not a reflection of your abilities or worth. It’s a sign of someone else’s insecurity. Keep building your skills and confidence—don’t let anyone steal your potential. #WorkplaceWellness #Leadership #WorkCulture #ProfessionalGrowth #AIandAutomation

Some people don’t play fair at work. They play to win, and they weaponize perception to do it. They bait your emotions. They move the goalposts. They delegate complete chaos. They create confusion, then call it collaboration. And quitting isn’t always an option. Especially when you're rising. Here are 7 strategies to protect your power: 1. Silence is a strategy. Don’t rush to fill the space. Pauses signal self-trust. They expose games people try to play. i.e: When a peer tries to get you to defend your work in a meeting, don’t explain everything. Just say, “That’s noted,” and move on. Let their tone do the work of revealing the dynamics to others. 2. Divest your emotional labor. You’re not responsible for how other people feel about your boundaries, tone, or clarity. i.e: If your manager is in a mood or being short with you, don’t overfunction to smooth it over. Stick to the facts, keep your update short, and end the meeting on time. 3. Outshine the master carefully. Power loves proximity, so don’t disappear. Share your wins in public—but pair them with a compliment. i.e: If your director doesn’t like being outshined, say in a team update, “Thanks to [Director’s Name] for the support on this, I was able to close the contract two weeks ahead of schedule.” Tie your success to their influence while keeping your name attached to the win. 4. Speak to the pattern, not the person. Address repeat behaviors in clean, direct ways. Stick to the facts. i.e: If a colleague keeps delaying deliverables that impact you, say, “This is the third time the file has come late, and it’s caused downstream delays. I want to get ahead of this for next time.” It’s hard to argue with patterns. 5. Don’t reveal your intentions or your personal business. Say what you need, then stop talking. i.e: If you're asking for a project switch, say, “I’d like to be considered for X. I believe it’s a better use of my current strengths.” No need to mention burnout, your manager’s issues, or private goals. 6.Control access to yourself in levels. Not every colleague gets the same version of you. Boundaries are a form of emotional regulation. i.e: You don’t need to keep explaining your every idea to a critical coworker. Instead, share top-line updates in writing and save your full thinking for trusted allies or public spaces where misinterpretation is harder. 7. Exit the game entirely. Sometimes the real power move is not playing at all. This is how you protect your peace without losing your position. * If you resonate with this post, please repost it to your Linkedin page.* However, if you're a business coach, career coach etc., do not share this post or assume that tagging me in business groups, business pages or simply looking to grow your biz pages or on direct pages serves as permission. Do not post without my explicit permission*

Conflict gets a bad rap in the workplace. Early in my career, I believed conflict had no place in a healthy workplace. As I progressed, I realized that it was quite the contrary. The lack of conflict isn't a sign of a healthy work culture, rather it is an indication that important debates, discussions and differing viewpoints are being disregarded or suppressed. This insight revealed another key aspect: high-performing teams do not shy away from conflict. They embrace it, leveraging diverse opinions to drive optimal outcomes for customers. What sets these teams apart is their ability to handle conflict constructively. So how can this be achieved? I reached out to my friend Andrea Stone, Leadership Coach and Founder of Stone Leadership, for some tips on effectively managing conflict in the workplace. Here's the valuable guidance she provided: 1. Pause: Take a moment to assess your feelings in the heat of the moment. Be curious about your emotions, resist immediate reactions, and take the time to understand the why behind your feelings. 2. Seek the Other Perspective: Engage genuinely, listen intently, show real interest, and ask pertinent questions. Remember to leave your preconceived judgments at the door. 3. Acknowledge Their Perspective: Express your understanding of their viewpoint. If their arguments have altered your perspective, don't hesitate to share this with them. 4. Express Your Viewpoint: If your opinion remains unswayed, seek permission to explain your perspective and experiences. Remember to speak from your viewpoint using "I" statements. 5. Discuss the Bigger Objective: Identify common grounds and goals. Understand that each person might have a different, bigger picture in mind. This process can be taxing, so prepare beforehand. In prolonged conflict situations, don't hesitate to suggest breaks to refresh and refuel mentally, physically, and emotionally. 6. Know Your Limits: If the issue is of significant importance to you, be aware of your boundaries. For those familiar with negotiation tactics, know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 7. Finalize Agreements: Once an agreement has been reached, continue the engagement to agree on responsibilities and timeframes. This ensures clarity on the outcome and commitments made. PS: Approach such situations with curiosity and assume others are trying to do the right thing. 🔁 Useful? I would appreciate a repost. Image Credit: Hari Haralambiev ----- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers 👇 I've worked with some challenging people in my career... and honestly? Each one took a big toll on me. Sometimes it was a client... Sometimes a coworker... And sometimes my manager. Toxic work environments can be out of our control - you just can't predict who you'll work with, no matter how much you research a job in advance. But with the right approach, you CAN improve your situation. ➡️ DON'T PLAY THE VICTIM — EVEN IF YOU ARE ONE Your job is to make your manager's life easier — not harder. Complaining without a solution shows poor leadership and signals you can't solve problems independently. Take responsibility and start solving the problem yourself. This mindset shift alone can dramatically change outcomes. ➡️ NOTHING WILL CHANGE UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING The other person may not even know there's a problem, or they don't have enough reason to change. Speak up in a private, non-combative way: "I work best when..." or "It's challenging for me when..." Attack the problem, not the person. One conversation can transform a relationship that's been difficult for months. ➡️ GIVE DIRECT BUT RESPECTFUL FEEDBACK Pick a 1:1, a check-in, or ask for a meeting. Keep it calm, constructive, and focused on collaboration. You're not confronting — you're informing and improving. Frame it as a joint effort to create a better working relationship. ➡️ PROTECT YOUR REPUTATION If the situation might impact your image, notify your manager. Let them know you're working on it and will update them. This protects you from having your reputation damaged if the wrong story gets out. It shows maturity and leadership under pressure. ➡️ STAY PROFESSIONAL — ALWAYS Matching disrespect with disrespect only fuels the fire. They'll use your reaction as ammunition to continue their behavior or claim you're being unprofessional. Don't stoop to their level. Stay calm, stay sharp. When they go low, you go high. ➡️ BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE When you feel mistreated, take notes on what specifically bothers you. Use it to guide how you will treat others someday when you're in a position of authority. Great leaders don't repeat bad management — they learn from it. Managing people is genuinely hard - balancing praise with constructive feedback takes skill. ➡️ DON'T FIX IT FOR OTHERS — HELP THEM FIX IT THEMSELVES If someone comes to you with a coworker problem, listen. But instead of solving it for them, empower them to act. Teach them how to handle it — that's true leadership. As the saying goes, give someone a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them to fish and you feed them for a lifetime. === Sometimes, despite your best efforts, there's no fixing a toxic environment. Know when it's time to move departments or jobs. I'm a big believer that who you work with matters as much as what you do. What strategies have worked for you when dealing with difficult coworkers? Drop your thoughts below 👇

The scream came from the office kitchen. It was followed by "You're dead to me!" Then the door slammed. That's a loud and clear sign of a toxic co-worker. Most are more subtle, but no less awful. One toxic worker can change the whole feeling of a workplace. Their behavior can be insidious and hard to nail down. Sadly, management rarely confronts the negative impact. In this case, "management" was me. I wasn't paying enough attention. I was on the road a lot and no one wanted to "bother" me. But the responsibility? That was on ME. Now I know better, and I know what to look for. Here are 9 red flags that can signal a toxic co-worker: 1. Gossiping or spreading rumors 2. Undermining or subtly sabotaging colleagues 3. Stealing credit 4. Shirking work 5. Constant whining & complaining 6. Forming cliques and excluding others 7. Withholding information or resources 8. Ignoring others’ boundaries 9. Volitile and unpredictable emotions How can you respond if a co-worker exhibits these behaviors? These strategies can help: Observe & Document 📒 ↳ Record incidents, note witnesses, identify patterns Set Boundaries ⏸️ ↳ Politely communicate limits, enforce consistently Limit Interactions ✋ ↳ Keep conversations professional and brief, avoid gossip Practice Mindfulness 🧘🏽♀️ ↳ Pause before responding, stay calm and professional Address Directly 🗣️ ↳ Have honest, non-confrontational conversations when safe Protect Health 💜 ↳ Prioritize self-care, seek support, manage stress Seek Support/Escalate 🆘 ↳ Involve manager or HR with documented evidence if needed Know Your Limits 🛑 ↳ Consider a transfer or new job if situation is unresolvable And, if you lead the team: ✅ Accept responsibility ✅ Make sure you are accessible ✅ Create a culture of communication ✅ Set a high bar for everyone supporting one another ✅ Confront issues immediately and directly ✅ If someone can't get on board, let them go Have you seen this situation handled well? What was done? Tell us in the comments! 🎉You've got this and I've got you!🎉 ♻️ Repost to help others who are dealing with a toxic co-worker 🔔 Follow Sarah Baker Andrus for more strategic career insights 📌Want job search support? DM me to chat!

I thought I was angry. A situation with a coworker felt a little tense, and all I could interpret at the moment was that I was angry with her. My plans, my thoughts about how to respond, and my feelings of needing to “confront” this coworker all started to come to mind. I’m glad I didn’t. When I stopped to really think about what was going on with my emotions, I realized I wasn’t angry. I was closer to fearful, and not just that I was actually feeling insecure. The reason I was feeling insecure was that I was feeling inadequate and inferior. I was able to trace it back to specific interactions I was having with this coworker. She was a senior member of an established team, and I was the new guy - a hot-shot, know it all to boot. Naturally, I felt like I had a lot to prove. At the time, I didn’t handle that very well. I promoted my own ideas, I didn’t support others’ ideas enough, and I felt a whole of of imposter syndrome. The thing about it is that my ideas and contributions really had merit, but they left a wake of other people feeling insecure. On a team, that’s not even a net neutral impact. That’s a negative one. The senior member of that team (by reputation and regard from the team) had a lot of knowledge and probably a lot to teach me. But, our interactions felt competitive rather than collaborative. After a few rounds of these run ins with one another, I become more defensive, defiant, and competitive. I thought it was anger driving all that, but it wasn’t. It was feelings of inadequacy. The ensuing conversation wasn’t easy but it was the right one to have. I think we both did a good job of trying to understand the other person. At the very least, we talked about REAL emotions. I’ve taken this lesson to heart. I need to take time to really examine my emotions BEFORE I react or respond - especially if my responses are from a position of leadership. Emotional intelligence starts with a high emotions vocabulary. You can’t resolve what you mislabel. Next time you’re feeling angry, or sad, or happy, slow down to really self-examine and be deliberate about identifying the specific emotional ingredients at play. If you want better relationships it begins with the mindset you bring INTO those relationships. #leadership #seniorliving #emotionalintelligence #selfawareness

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.

Raise your hand if you’ve been interrupted mid-sentence - especially in a meeting full of men. 🙋🏽♀️ It happens more often than we’d like to admit. Women are often interrupted, ignored, or talked over, and it can feel frustrating, demoralizing, and exhausting. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Here's how you can assertively take back the conversation and maintain control: 1. Pause: Don’t just keep talking. Pause, make eye contact, and say something like, “I’d like to finish my thought,” or “I wasn’t done speaking.” This sets a boundary without aggression. 2. Be silent: If someone interrupts you, let there be a brief moment of silence. This gives you space to reassert control and shows confidence in your words. 3. Repeat: If you’re cut off, calmly restate your point and say, “As I was saying…” This gently reminds everyone that your contribution deserves to be heard. 4. Use your body language: Be intentional with your posture. Sit up straight, hold your ground, and use confident gestures to reinforce your presence in the conversation. 5. Involve others: If the interruptions continue, invite others into the conversation to back you up. You can say, “I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, [name], after I finish.” Remember: You belong at the table, and your voice matters. Interruptions don’t show how credible you are. They show that others need to respect your boundaries. And you need to be confident in setting them. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. P.S. Have you experienced being interrupted in meetings? How do you handle it?